Rhinestones & Face Tattoos: Brief Musings On Post Malone Distaste

The artist who goes by “Post Malone,” born Austin Post, is the current fan-favorite of any local fraternity or any teenager who thinks they need to be five beers deep to have any semblance of fun. You know him. He’s the guy who looks like a tattooed pirate with a lot of dental work. I think the fact that he wears a “Nudie Suit” in the article’s featured image is explicitly inappropriate; no one who has a chorus consisting of “Ayy, I’ve been f****n’ hos and poppin’ pillies” should be legally allowed to own one. I’m not judging the character of the artist — I’m sure that he is an upstanding person who truly cares for his listeners, as well as a musician with undeniable talent. I just don’t care for what he’s doing with it. Post Malone is not the revolutionary artist that many are worshiping him as, but rather, a product of his listeners’ shallow tastes.

Photo By: Erik Madigan Heck

When I first heard Malone’s dreadfully auto-tuned vocals, I decided to ask the name of the artist’s album (I’m pretty sure my facial expression at the time was one of repressed abhorrence.) It was something titled ‘beerbongs & bentleys’, which is a contradiction entirely within itself, but yet wholly appropriate.

After hearing it, I immediately associated his music with the genre of hip-hop, but Malone distances himself from this tag: he claims that his music is a combination of rock, country, and pop music. If his music is the future of rock and country, then consider me mortified. Really, I think that I must have a hearing disability if that’s the case – it sounds nothing like it.

However, my greatest issue with this artist is not wholly his fault: his music is too commercialized. Because of this, many of his songs become homogenized, which hides any hint of artistic substance that they may possess. I hold the fierce belief that music should never become formulaic; I know that the nation’s leading business experts in Nashville have managed to make a song so economical that there currently isn’t much difference between a Luke Bryan song and a Happy Meal. Fortunately, there’s still some hope left for Austin Post. His song “Stay” has remarkably melodic vocals with an effective acoustic backing track, but the lyrical content itself (to put it bluntly), is simplistic. Here’s an example:

Can we have a little conversation?
Figure it out with no intoxication
We carry on, what is our motivation?
We’re never wrong, how the hell we gonna make it?

I’m growing tired of artists from the current youthful generation rarely deviating from the golden combination of singing about alcohol and emotional confusion — and this is coming from a fellow youth! Do the rest of us a favor, and kindly grow the hell up. I think that’s been used inordinately in previous generations, but this time, it sounds a lot more processed.

Malone has the world’s youth captivated with his music, but yet he seems to use his attention to gaudily flaunt his wealth instead. I know that it can be pretty dangerous for a musician to venture outside of what is commercial, but isn’t that every artist’s higher calling? I don’t think Post Malone really cares.

1 thought on “Rhinestones & Face Tattoos: Brief Musings On Post Malone Distaste

  1. Goat


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