JUR. ASS. SIC.
Or, A Definitive Ranking of the Jurassic Franchise from a Guy Who Just Wants to Watch Dudes Get Eaten by Dinosaurs
Playing God is usually not in our best interest. At least, I think that’s what the Jurassic franchise is subconsciously preaching to us under all those animatronic scales and CGI carnage. But, alas, I suppose I’ll take one for the team and try my hand as The Big Man Upstairs in one simple way today and give all a definitive guide of which Jurassic films are worth the time.
You see, though I am quite the movie fiend (over 265 movies logged on Letterboxd so far this year), it recently dawned on me like a meteor from the sky that I had never seen the Jurassic saga. And with the rebirth of the franchise right down the road at my local theater, I thought there’s no better time than the present to watch (and rank) them all.
Lucky for you, I’ve found the most clever, memorable way to categorize these films. It’s very simple:
Jur (as in, “sure, this movie was whatever”)
Ass (as in, “this movie is absolute ass”)
Sic (as in, “this is so sick, I’ve gotta see it again and again”)
Makes sense? Ok, great. Now, time to see where life finds a way, and what films should be thrown away forever.
Disclaimer: for full reviews and listed rankings, get Jur-ass over to my Letterboxd account and check it all out!
Jurassic Park (1993) — SIC
Few filmmakers can dream up ideas and pull them off at this kind of scale like Spielberg can. As one of the ultimate summer blockbusters, the original has no choice but to live here in the Sic category. Insane filmmaking vision, never-before-seen spectacle, and enough panic-inducing tension to make you afraid of creatures that have been dead in real life for millions of years.
So much fun.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) — JUR
This film has some technically impressive effects and filmmaking techniques. But of every Spielberg-directed film I’ve ever seen, this one definitely feels the most half-hearted. Not a whole lot to write home about here, but there are a few sequences that make it bearable!
Jurassic Park III (2001) — SIC
Ok, guys, some will call this a hot take, but hear me out: I understand that this movie is an absolute mess. BUT! Jurassic Park III is actually a lot of fun if you let your guard down. It knows exactly what it’s doing: throwing scary-ass dinosaurs at unsuspecting humans and watching the chaos unfold. And honestly? That’s enough for me.
Not a lot of depth to be mined here narratively, but so joyous by being completely unhinged.
Jurassic World (2015) — SIC
Not too heady, not too cheesy. Instead, it’s a fantastic reboot of classic IP with a bright and shining trait: dinosaur wreckage on human flesh.
This one, more than any, is a great reminder that summer blockbusters should not be taken too seriously, and we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously, either. Especially when it comes to watching imaginary movies about dinosaurs roaming Earth.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) — ASS
This sequel reeks of the same corporate greed that its villains are supposedly condemning. In trying to capitalize quickly on the franchise’s momentum, it ends up tranquilizing everything that made Jurassic films great in the first place.
It kills everything great about the franchise, all while feeling lifeless, pointless, and disastrous.
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) — ASS
I can’t sugar coat it. This movie is utterly abysmal. Too many ideas, too many characters -- all while providing zero story or dino-induced havoc.
This is the prime example of expanding IP for IP’s sake alone, and it shows. Not worth your time in any capacity.
Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025) — SIC
As the newest in the franchise, I was wary about sinking my teeth into this. However, clunky and nostalgia-baited as it may be, this film made the franchise fun for me again.
The action sequences are great, the cinematography is some of the best yet, and the carnage hits just right.
So, let’s recap
Tier 1: SIC – The apex predators who will rip your face off with their carnage and still make you want to rewatch them because of their classic charm.
Jurassic Park (1993)
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Jurassic World (2015)
Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025)
TIER 2: JUR – The side quest character that mostly just exists.
The Lost World: Jurassic ParI (1997)
TIER 3: ASS – The dumpster fire deserted islands of cinema that should be burned to the ground
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)
In conclusion, always remember that it’s never too late to stop taking yourself so damn seriously. These are movies about dinosaurs in a modern earth for God’s sake. Let’s stop cosplaying as film snobs, and instead, let’s just enjoy the prehistoric pandemonium; the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Find Jake Elliff on Letterboxd!