The Elephant in the Barn

Y’all, I have a problem. Is this a safe space? Am I among friends?

Okay. Here goes.

I think I like Auburn.

For those of you who know me in real life, this may come as a shock. Don’t worry, I’m just as astounded as you are. 

Core memory—get wrecked, Tubs

Don’t get me wrong. I knew there was a chance that I might develop some friendly feelings for the Barn when I got accepted into the English Language Arts PhD program at Auburn. I could see myself wearing a non-confrontational SEC or “I Just Hope Both Teams Have Fun” T-shirt to a game at Jordan-Hare. But I just bought an Auburn College of Education T-shirt. And a hat. And some stickers. And a button. And a tote bag. 

Hush! It was a bundle!

What is wrong with me? I recently found a picture of myself in eleventh grade, working on a homecoming float for another Tiger team, wearing an Iron Bowl shirt that says, “It’s a nice place to win…” on the front and “…but I wouldn’t want to go to school there” on the back.

Who’s gonna tell her?

My indoctrination into the Bama Nation began at birth. My dad is one of the most loyal Alabama fans I’ve ever met. Bama football has always been a bonding opportunity for us. Y’all may not know this, but I was once a local sports radio celebrity in Mobile. My dad and I were weekly callers to the “My Blood Runs Crimson” show, where I enjoyed pulling my weekly score predictions from the muggy Lower Alabama air and also being the only kid and the only girl who was a regular caller. 

When I was little, my dad sanitized the “Rammer Jammer” cheer to say “give ‘em fits, Alabama” so that we could recite it together after every touchdown. At one point we had a secret handshake that we would perform with it. When I went off to college at the University, Dad missed this ritual, so he started calling after every touchdown. He loved hearing the student section exploding over the phone. Even when I’m not at the game, he still calls me after every touchdown with a “RAMMERJAMMERYELLOWHAMMERGIVEEMHELLALABAMAROLLTIDEROLL!” Field goals and safeties simply get a “Rammer.”

My dad and I have experienced the ups and downs of Bama fandom that a young Bama fan who only remembers the glorious reign of Nick Saban may not appreciate. My first Alabama game was a devastating homecoming loss in the DuBose era, but we did get to meet Gene Stallings earlier in the day and he told me he loved my “sun kisses.” 

Behold our awkward side hug.

As an undergrad in 2004, I took my dad to the Music City Bowl (remember when we went to those?). The night before the game, we went to a parade and stepped inside a pizza place to use the facilities. My dad emerged from the restroom grinning, exclaiming, “I got to take a whiz with Big Al!” We also lost that game, but we did end up on the local news in Mobile singing “Sweet Home Alabama” with a Nashville street musician. 

In grad school, I got to take my dad to Saban’s first SEC Championship game as Alabama’s coach. We lost that one, too, but in another whiz-related incident, my dad got to witness a guy getting arrested for relieving himself on the Georgia Dome, so not a total loss, really.

Dad and I watched the first game of this season in person, and after the first of many touchdowns, we gave each other the usual full “Rammer Jammer” chant. My husband, who is unfortunately a Tennessee fan, looked at me and joked, “Your dad’s about to call.” My dad glared at him from across the room, picked up his phone, and left him the “Rammer Jammer” voicemail that he usually reserves for me when I’m taking a whiz (in a bathroom, without Big Al). 

I have been an Alabama fan my whole life, but I was officially affiliated with the University of Alabama for about 18 years: as a student, as a cooperating teacher with the College of Education, as staff, and as faculty. A lot has changed in the nine years since my last experience as a graduate student at the University of Alabama. During the pandemic, I noticed a shift among my friends in academia. People started speaking out against academic hazing for the first time in my memory. It’s unfortunate that educators at any level would need reminders to be kind to their students, to give grace in the face of an unprecedented situation. Any educator will tell you that there are achievement gaps since lockdown, but, in hindsight, isn’t it remarkable that we accomplished anything during that time? Surrounded by sickness and death and general societal upheaval, we soldiered on. And our students did as much as they possibly could. 

I have not experienced even the slightest bit of the academic hazing that was such a common and accepted practice a decade ago. I’m not sure if this is Auburn culture or post-pandemic academic culture, but the Auburn family has welcomed me with open arms. Everyone I’ve talked to so far has been kind, generous, helpful, and supportive.

If only they knew how much smack I’ve talked over the years.

I should have seen this coming. With my recent gardening obsession, it’s been refreshing to see emails about agriscience education and sustainability efforts. Did y’all know that Auburn has their own special cultivars of azaleas? All of my classes so far have been online, so I can’t help but be a little excited about visiting the loveliest village in the Plains for homecoming next week just to look at the plants. 

Source: Alabama Extension

I may have too much Bama in me, but I was devastated by the loss of the Toomer’s Oaks. Bama football is serious business, but leave the trees out of it. They didn’t ask to be toilet papered by students. They shouldn’t have had to die for Tommy Tuberville and Gene Chizik’s sins.

My Vol husband and I are also on our way to becoming Auburn football fans, but don’t worry, I’m talking real football, not American. My stepson, our oldest, also a new member of the Auburn family, just joined the Auburn Club Soccer team. And y’all, they play Bama twice. I’m not sure how we’re going to handle this cognitive dissonance, but we will get through it as a family. 

Fortunately, the other two kids lean Bama. Perhaps they will one day bring balance to the Force. I was fortunate to win two tickets to the game this weekend, so I got to take my daughter to her first Bama game ever. 

It was magical to see the whole game day experience through her eyes. I’m glad we got to see the dedication of Saban Field together. There was a period of time when she was convinced that Nick Saban was the president, and I didn’t correct her.

My blood runs crimson, but I think there is enough room in my heart for the Auburn family. I am large. I contain multitudes. 

Football is where I draw the line, though. Especially as long as Hugh Freeze is coach. Dude gives me the ick.

Bama may not have had the best game this weekend against South Florida, but at least we didn’t lose to Cal. Get it together, Barn. 

It’s great to be from Alabama. But it’s great to be an Auburn Tiger, too, I guess. I’m officially in the Auburn Family, PAWWWWWWWL, and I love it.

Roll Tide forever, though.