Politics

A Roy Moore Presidency

With opinions of the current President and administration split straight down the middle with hardly any give, the 2020 election will be one for the books. The Democratic Party’s huge twenty-four candidate turnout is evidence that every darn one of the Dems feel a change in leadership is necessary. The party sports big-name, socialist candidates like Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.But do any of those candidates really stand a chance against Trump? Maybe some of the candidates who seem to be slightly less left leaning (a.k.a. not communist) would have better chances in a campaign against the president. Maybe candidates like Pete Buttigieg and Beto O’Rourke. Or perhaps the American people would rather have Marianne Williamson shoot beams of love at Trump and open America’s third eye. Regardless of who wins the Democratic Primaries, they will have a hard fight against one Donald J. Trump.

This is a race that needs a candidate who can beat Donald Trump in a landslide and unite the American people. That’s right. Folks, I’m talking about Alabama’s very own Roy Moore.

Isn’t it time we take Alabama’s strict moral values to the White House? Okay, okay: he obviously isn’t a Democrat, but that just makes it that much easier for him to beat Trump. Obviously it would be a smoother road for him had he had won the special election for Senate in 2017 (pesky child killer Doug Jones) and the celebrity that can come with being a senator. But he isn’t a quitter. Nay, he is running once again for Senate in 2020. Luckily for Alabama, nine allegations of sexual misconduct or child molestation will not slow Moore down. This is the persistence Alabama can bring to Washington.

Moore weilds a pistol to exercise his Second Amendment rights and intimidate his competition.

One thing that sets Moore apart from other politicians is his poetry. His articulate nature makes him a natural leader, ranking him close to the man in the highest office now. In a poem dubbed “America the Beautiful,” he contrasts the beautiful America of the past with the one he sees today. He writes, “Babies piled in dumpsters, abortion on demand, Oh, sweet land of liberty, your house is on the sand.” 

Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that handsomeness, but with an allusion to the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Builders, it is apparent that Moore sees the Constitutional rights of women as the death of the United States. And don’t we all?

He will be a candidate that can see the flaws of America the Great. He can see that the rights American citizens enjoy are causing the United States to fail. Well, some of them. The Second Amendment is of course a God-given right, but that isn’t important because other Constitutional rights are not God-given. Giving women who cannot care for a child the option to keep from placing yet another child into the American foster care system is not a God-given right. If all that is a little confusing, fear not: Roy Moore understands which Constitutional rights are God-given and which ones are not. 

A devout Christian, the impeccable morals of the Alabama politician shine through in his policies and words. He fights for the important things. Like keeping children that have already developed, been born, and are up for adoption from having a loving family. Only if that loving family happens to be a same-sex couple though, because God spoke to Roy Moore and told him to pick and choose who he oppresses. His case is that “the homosexual conduct of a parent – conduct involving a sexual relationship between two persons of the same gender – creates a strong presumption of unfitness that alone is sufficient justification for denying that parent custody of his or her own children or prohibiting the adoption of the children of others.”  To sum that up, if there were a choice between a child having minorities as parents or not having parents at all, he would choose the latter. It’s finally something everyone can agree on. With Moore in a position of power, maybe—just maybe—we could bring his views of America to fruition.

Moore and his loving equine, “Sassy.” Sassy, indeed!

Maybe an Alabamian as president is a long shot for the 2020 Election; maybe we just need to wait to make American even greater again: if Roy Moore and his horse “Sassy” can secure a seat in the Senate in 2020 then he will have the platform he needs in order to run for President in 2024.

Moore’s values have been lacking in Washington for far too long! It is time the American people do what is best for the country, stand strong, hear the calling of the Almighty, ignore the mall security, tattoo those Ten Commandments on the faces of every American (male), and petition for a Roy Moore presidency.

If nothing else, we know he’d look after our daughters!

God bless us every one. 

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