Erase One Thing From Canon

[00:00:00] Hello, my name is Corey and I am a Star War. And my name is Corey and I am also a Star War. And my name is Jim and I am a Star War. And we are Star War! So this is a mini episode.

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[00:00:51] The mini topic. One thing you could erase from Star War Canon forever. Would it be... These were some of the questions that you posed Corey Martin. This is Corey's question. Midichlorians, question mark. Boba Fett falling into the Star Like Pit, question mark.

[00:01:07] Blowing up the razor caress, question mark. Vader kills the younglings, question mark. And baby Leia chased through the forest by the red hot chili peppers. That happened right? It did. That literally happened. So we're going, let me set the timer. So stopwatch and...

[00:01:29] And I think they were playing Bugs Bunny music while she was running. And I was like, doot doot doot doot. So out of all of those prompts, you're mad at the direction in an episode and not the actual action itself.

[00:01:46] It's also of all of the prompts, it's the least consequential. Right? I don't remember what happens in the show anymore. Just her running away from the red hot chili peppers. Yeah. And then, but they catch her and then he rescues her?

[00:02:05] If you compare that to midichlorians, like you're not, you're making less of a change by removing. The forest run with the chili peppers. So you're not, you're trying to avoid changing cannon altogether. That's what you're saying.

[00:02:25] And now we're going to get the DMCA takedown notice from Kathleen Kennedy's lawyer. So out of everything cannon that you could remove, you would remove bad direction. Here's another thing. Because the scene... That's a lovely, no, that's a different answer because then the answer is yes.

[00:02:47] There's plenty of bad direction that I would take out. Here's another one that I thought of that in right on there, but in the beginning of Revenge of the Sith when Anakin gets to the bridge and he sees Grievous. Oh yeah.

[00:03:01] And he says, Ah, Grievous, you're shorter than I thought you'd be. Because of that line when they went on and made the entire Clone Wars show, they could never have the two of them meet because he said that.

[00:03:14] So if you just took out that one little line, then in all the Clone Wars, like Grievous can be like a bigger player and they can fight each other and stuff like that. That'd be fun. They can make up.

[00:03:26] They might even have to team up on a quirky heist. Yeah. Yeah. They don't want to. But they have to. But how else are we getting off this planet? There's no way they're getting out of this alive without helping one another.

[00:03:35] We don't have enough credits between you and me. I don't carry credits. Let's do a whole show about credits. I don't understand the money. I don't either. Well, okay. We started this one. I'm going to write that down. Which one would you do? Which one would you change?

[00:03:48] What can you remove, sir? I hadn't thought about it too much. The baby layer thing doesn't bother me because I'm just like they could have fixed that in editing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Made some cuts a little sooner, make this look a little less awkward.

[00:04:04] But I wouldn't change the Starlight Pit because then you get that story in Book of Boba Fett, blah, blah, blah. So Patton Oswalt's epic rant and what not on Parks and Rec. That became true. That became true.

[00:04:22] I would say blowing up the razor crest because now we just don't have the fucking razor crest anymore. Right. Like, I get from a character perspective he's changing his role from being, I think

[00:04:32] you were the one that was saying he's no longer a bounty hunter now he's a father. Yeah. That makes sense but you're right. He could have been like... I think he said that. No. That was you. I don't think I said that. It doesn't sound like me.

[00:04:45] Anyway, but now they could have been, you know, I'm trading it in. I mean it looks like a Winnebago. It does. It looks like Lone Star's ship from Spaceballs. So they totally could have just put a little nursery in there for Grogu and it

[00:05:06] could have been like their freaking camper. Yeah. And now they're camping. But it was a great moment to take it all away from Mando. I mean losing it all right? Yeah. That was a good beat. That's a good show. Is there anything else you can answer?

[00:05:24] My real answer is Midichlorians. I would take that shit out. Mm-hmm. They don't serve no purpose. They actually like lessen the coolness of the force. It was like Lucas being like here's a reason and then never talking about it ever again. Right. Yeah.

[00:05:42] And we don't need those reasons. I would I would remove the droids. All of them. Just 3PO and R2-D2. Controversy ensues. Hot take. Hot as take. Hot as take so far. I don't need I don't need every time I land on a swampy planet and I'm scared

[00:06:06] and then it's like man where are we this terrifying. Oh thanks Scooby. Thanks for beeping and blurring at me like you can't put a talk box in those things. How come half of them can talk and half of them just beep beep.

[00:06:23] Do y'all remember earlier when you called me producer? Yeah. You're fucking fired. Get out of our podcast. This is mine and Jim's podcast now. They don't they don't even they don't even make sense why they shouldn't be in the prequels. How about that?

[00:06:45] Okay but we get R2 R2 R2 R2 can be there. There's no reason for a slave boy to build himself a robot butler. It's stupid because he didn't want to do them chores cause that's true. He was like subcontracting his slave work. Yes.

[00:07:05] Oh maybe we could take slaves out. That would be good. Maybe we should do that. Maybe we should take slaves out of Star Wars. They really need slaves. But then that basically eliminates the whole clone army right? They're not slaves but they're you know pretty close.

[00:07:23] Yeah cause they're people. Engineered to die. Right? Yeah. There's some dark stuff going on in this show sometimes. Sometimes. I hate you're talking about this podcast. If we take away slaves we don't get slave Leia though. True. Well that's a different story.

[00:07:43] We would just call her prisoner Leia. She would just be prisoner Leia. There you go. Okay that mean that makes sense cause she wasn't really a slave. She wasn't like doing shit cause I was sitting there. She was doing something. She had no duties.

[00:08:01] Did you say giving up that booty? No. You said that. I said she has no duties. Oh my goodness. Okay so back to. That's for RPG 13 episode. Back to her back to midichlorians. Yeah. Yeah we don't need those probably.

[00:08:21] Yeah that's one of those things that they picked up and dropped and picked up again. I was like everybody can be no Palatines can be. No broom boys except for the hundreds of Jedi that are wandering the galaxy not helping Luke. 782 Jedi.

[00:08:41] I mean we just happen to see them. There's so many. Order 66 was really about a really really long hide and seek game. They did kill lots of Jedi just not all of them. Yeah they killed all the kids. That's cause that's all who we can get.

[00:08:58] As far as Obi-Wan knew there weren't that many Jedi left. Would you would everything still make sense and fall in line if he did not if we didn't see him kill the kids? We'd be sitting here right now saying you know there were younglings there did he

[00:09:15] kill them too we'd be doing that. Right. But we wouldn't know. Is it worse that we know. It does give the character of Darth Vader a certain level of he don't fuck around this. It's also not the first time he did it.

[00:09:28] Right he killed the sand people women and children. Oh fuck. Yeah he's a genocidal maniac. But he called her snips so we love him again. Yeah well our love for Anakin goes up to the point where he kills the sand people

[00:09:51] Once he becomes intergalactic Hitler it's hard to. He was pretty fucking mad at that point and was on the turn right. You know what I would like is a Padme this is the next episode already I'd like a Padme spinoff.

[00:10:07] Okay but that's not removing anything from canon though. No I already removed whatever I wanted from canon. So pretend that you're listening to our last episode. Okay. Oh yeah we're still talking about spin-offs. Yeah. Padme she needs a better thing than 100% I got sad and so I died.

[00:10:26] Padme needs. There's room there's a little wiggle room in there where it's like what you didn't see was her laying on the bed and saying oh also brain cancer I never told anybody. Right. I hope that doesn't kick in right now or something. What was her character?

[00:10:42] Oh yeah. Force chokes her from across. That's Jane Foster. Yeah. Yeah. She's still out there. She's in great shape. So did you for the rest of the episode did we want to answer Scott's question or do we want to do.

[00:10:58] I think we're good on canon what's Scott's question what do you think? What was the question more canon that you wanted to move Corey. No we're good. What was the question? Oh sorry.

[00:11:10] I thought you sent it to me and it is probably there but I did I sent it to you my bad. Right so for my buddy Scott instead of what if shout out Scott we get a show called somehow

[00:11:24] what Star Wars events get rewritten and immediately dismissed with a somehow. Well the prompt for that came from somehow helped in return. Such a trigger. That's a good question. I think you could actually parlay it into the previous question or the previous prompt

[00:11:51] about what canon would you remove. Yeah because like you could say somehow the editing was tighter on baby Leia escaping. Right but then she goes and gets almost caught again and it's you know the red hot chili peppers again.

[00:12:12] I mean we basically got our somehow for Boba fat somehow he survived. Yeah that was cool. We got live action Cad Bane and somehow we survived getting our bottom half chopped off for Darth Maul. That's true.

[00:12:29] They go through that in Rebels but they don't explain it I mean it's got some shit to do with the witches and like him basically being Carter eyes from the waist down right and then they put robotic legs on him. Yeah yeah.

[00:12:42] Um yeah so yeah somehow Darth Maul returned but we got that sort of in Rebels. Mm-hmm. Um good question. Need to go outside the box on this. Yeah. Think of something crazy. Do that. We'll wait.

[00:13:07] What if we just all look at each other and go hmm hmm hmm what about on Bespin instead of Luke escaping through the big hole or whatever. What if he knocks Darth Vader I'm doing what if I'm not doing somehow. But finish your story. I was.

[00:13:40] What if he carbon freezes Vader and he's like no no no now I'm in charge. That seemed like a what if it not somehow. Yeah that's why I stopped halfway through. I just wanted to hear the end of it. I'm not doing this right. Hmm.

[00:13:55] Well I mean we're 14 minutes in we don't have to keep going we can cut it with that if we got no other ideas. Let's talk about droids for six minutes. Let's talk about droids. Okay Corey wants to know if first I'll apologize I know that the droids are

[00:14:09] telling the part of the story and it's through their eyes and our two D2 is the real narrator of the story. C3PO and R2D2 are the Rosencrantz and Guilden Stern of the Star Wars. That's fine. Good.

[00:14:20] Yeah are they sent yet and should we be more freaked out about how they are treated. So solo movie what was what was her name L3. Yeah I mean she's like the most fleshed out her K2SO those are like very fleshed

[00:14:37] out very people-y robots like they have personalities they have thoughts they have desires they hurt they feel pain and suffering and stuff like that chopper B2 emo is very emo yeah very sad all the time.

[00:14:55] I think I don't know I mean it probably depends on their programming right I mean I mean they're like but the battle droids the battle droids were were afraid to get blown up they didn't want to die right they were always going whoa yeah or something like that.

[00:15:10] I did that was a I mean I think they did have feet they used to in extent right they have feet and like chopper is sarcastic and is an asshole and well that one I don't remember

[00:15:23] where it was it in the inside the uh sand crawler where they flip that robot upside down and brand his the bottom of his feet and you see the steam shooting off and he's screaming like that they're like torturing him and pain and suffering and this stuff is

[00:15:37] and then they're just like I will wipe your brain and didn't they use that robot in Mandalorian season three and it's the it's a big battery R5-B4. There you go yeah what he said so it doesn't have but it screamed no I'm I think it

[00:15:56] does have feelings because he screamed. Yeah I mean R2 is kind of sassy a little bit here and there throughout C-3PO not so much I mean he's just kind of like here's the facts.

[00:16:08] He got real wispy one of those times that they thought he was gonna die in that last movie but then he was also taken apart in Empire and just hauled around and chewy's backpack.

[00:16:19] You're talking about one Babu Frick when he's like I'm taking one last look at my friends. That was nice that was wistful. Yeah they sent you it. Yeah right yeah I agree so if that is true then they're treated real bad.

[00:16:34] Then why do you hate them they got feefies too. I mean he because they ruined the flow of what I want sometimes. Now they do do do do I know that's right. I don't like it. But what about Chewbacca's scream they do the same thing with him.

[00:16:52] I don't know Chewbacca I don't know. You say you hate Chewbacca and I will cut you. Oh no nobody hates Chewbacca he's the best. And I don't hate all the droids. Which ones? I mean I like what's this guy. Hee Wang, Hee Wang, Hung Wang.

[00:17:13] I said who Yang in the last one but I know that's wrong. I can't be Hee Yang. Is it Huang? Huang. I think it's Huang Chung. Crotchety old Jedi robot trainer. Yeah but he's cool and he had a fight with that bad robot.

[00:17:27] And he had little punchy arms that came out his little T-Rex arms. Yeah little things and was hitting them and stuff it was cool. I like that fight. That was cool.

[00:17:37] And he was the bad robot put its bad robot hand over his robot mouth and he was like hey look look look look look. And I'm like does that work on a robot that you can muffle their mouth? Sure. I guess it's a speaker.

[00:17:52] Yeah it's just a matter of blocking the sound waves. With the robot fingers? It was funny to me. What was the prompt? What are we talking about? Droids. Are they sentient and should we be more freaked out by how they're treated? I say yes.

[00:18:10] They're treated pretty well in most aspects but they do get fucked up. But it's really weird if somebody came up to you and they were like you know what we're gonna give you a new job tomorrow so now we're gonna wipe your memory clean completely. That's wrong. Yeah.

[00:18:24] And then C-3PO walks around looking like a chump all the time because he never remembers that he already met people. In that movie everybody fake died one time. Which one? They're like the rise of Skywalker. They're like choose dead. No he's fine. Never mind.

[00:18:44] Oh no we're gonna have to kill 3PO. Oh he's fine. We fixed him. Oh no that planet blew up that lady's on it with Bobbuffer. Oh they're fine. That whole movie was just psych. Oh they're fine. Yeah. Is that a how to hell? Somehow everybody survived.

[00:19:01] If we made how to hell shirts would anybody buy one? No. Probably not. Maybe one of y'all. Maybe. I'll make one. I would just make one with a marker to spite you. But then we'd take a picture of him wearing that shirt and put that on T-public. Yes.

[00:19:21] A photo. Of Cory Martin. He pressed. He presses. Well I think that's probably it right? We didn't quite make it to 20 minutes on that one. But that's okay. We have one minute. Yeah I want to talk. You can talk about Star Wars for a minute.

[00:19:39] So we can anticipate the buzzer. I mean we can talk about Drew some more. Drew? Super fan Drew. Super fan Drew. Shout out Drew we appreciate you. Yeah. And if anybody wants to sponsor our show and like send us money and we'll talk about you

[00:19:56] for like 20 minutes we'll do that. Get your home. For a lot of money and stuff. Own mini episode. Yeah. Your own. We'll change the name of it to whatever your... We are a Jeff. We are a Jeff. We are a Kings Tires. I mean we have a price.

[00:20:19] We are a beer. Do we know any beers? Yeah we are a beer. We are a bourbon. Can we wheel this shit into existence? I think you can manifest your light into existence. I have spoken. This is the way. Yes. What flavor of Coca-Cola is that Corey?

[00:20:38] Looks like cherry. It's cherry zero for the sugar. There's no sugar in it. How about that pumpkin whoopee pie next to you? Is there any sugar in that? That is only sugar. It's just a pile of sugar. It's a pile of sugar. But it's delicious.

[00:20:57] Laura Seneca, good job. Shout out Laura Seneca. Shout out to the Ollies in Florence, Alabama. It's a really good Ollies. If you're listening from Florence, Alabama go there and buy a bunch of Star Wars toys. They have a lot of them. How about this Iron Man today?

[00:21:11] I bought an Iron Man today. And I never brought out the other two that I bought. Are they for the podcast? Yeah. Should we listen to this? Yeah, we're listening. A quick reveal? Here. Jim just opened it. Whoa. Oh hell yeah. Oh shit. Sogarera. Tusken Raider.

[00:21:34] Time's up but we'll give it a second. Hell yeah. Sogarera and a Tusken Raider from Ollies. This will go in the Star War bag that I bring with me for episodes. I love that. Hell yeah. Thank you Corey. For a purely audio medium.

[00:21:50] We do have a lot of stuff going on here that none of you can see. I post pictures on. That's the plastic. On Instagram everyone. This is an ASMR episode again with Jim opening the toy. My mic's too hot.

[00:22:05] This is the Black Series Tusken Raider from the archive it looks like. Hell yeah. Look at that shit. This is Rogue One, a Star Wars story, Sogarera. He got a lazy eye and everything. They really got in there. Yeah really they captured the panic and the paranoia.

[00:22:23] Hell yeah. If you would like to send us toys you can. Me? Send us a DM on the socials and we'll tell you where to send us toys. And we will talk about you and your toys on the show. Yeah. Yeah. We're a Star Wars.

[00:22:42] Find us on social media at We Are A Star Wars. And we'll talk to you all next time. Be safe. Good night. May the force be with you. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars.