Rogue One

[00:00:00] Hello there, my name is Corey and I am a Star War. My name is Corey and I am also a Star War. And my name is not Corey but it's Jim and I am a Star War. We Are A Star War.

[00:00:19] This is going to be a recap of episode, it's not an episode, it's a standalone movie. It's a Star War story. Rogue One. Rogue One. Aka Rogue Two because... This is Rogue Two episode.

[00:00:33] We were not in our right minds the last time we tried to record this one. We weren't prepared. The thing is we simply weren't prepared. Adored this movie. It's a really good movie. And we felt like it deserved a better treatment than we did.

[00:00:46] We didn't really give it at least the kind of response that I felt it deserved and... We had a good time. Sure. I was told that we were not in our right minds. It was not, it wasn't... By who Corey? Grimlock. Grimlock told me. No one will hear.

[00:01:03] So funny story about this movie before we get started. Corey Martin and I went to go see Nine Inches Nails a couple years ago in Tennessee. And we were at, what's the name of that venue outside of Franklin? The Amphitheater. It's the Amphitheater. The Amphitheater in Franklin. Dotcom.

[00:01:19] Dotcom.net. And that geospACE. And we worked, we had a pretty good parking spot and we had really good seats. Which that meant leaving the concert. We were way too close to the front of the parking lot which meant it took 45 minutes for us to

[00:01:37] get from the parking lot to the service road that would ultimately get us to the interstate to go home. And so we just put Rogue One on our telephone and watched the first hour of Rogue One while we waited for traffic to clear up.

[00:01:52] We watched most of this movie. It was fantastic. It was good. That was a good movie. It was good. It's good. That was good now. Might be one that I've watched the most. It's getting up there. I love this movie.

[00:02:04] There's plenty of times where I turn on the old, the old Disney Plus and I say, well, I'm going to watch today. Let's put on Rogue One. Rogue One. Let's put on Rogue One. I put it on this morning. We recorded it like a, what a month ago?

[00:02:17] Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Maybe a month ago. We don't know. It's been a while. We don't remember. But we tried recording. Didn't work out real well. We watched it at least once, if not twice before then. Still couldn't manage to talk about it. Three times it maybe.

[00:02:31] In any sort of coherent manner. It may not happen today either. And I blame that on Jim and Corey. No, we're going to do good. We're doing a good. I'm prepared. I took fucking notes. There's notes here. I got a really... How much part of it this morning?

[00:02:44] If you guys are listening to this podcast, you know how we roll. We won't disappoint. But we won't over deliver either. That's correct. Let's get into some facts. Facts. Thank you. Doug Won Colon, a Star Wars story. Story. Official title. Released on December 10th, 2016. Which means that...

[00:03:06] That's a lot older than I realized. Trump was already measuring... The drapes. ...the drapes in the White House when this came out. Budget of $265 million. That's where the M&M machine was going. $265 million budget. It's a lot. How much did it make? How much? 1.05... $1 billion. Where's your pinky?

[00:03:26] This is a billion dollar movie. Billion. Do you remember when Titanic hit a billion and we were like, well, Titanic obviously is the biggest movie in the history of movies and nothing will ever top this? That's what I thought.

[00:03:41] We even had Star Wars movies back then and we were like, well, that's great. It's not a billion dollars. You're gonna make a billion dollars. Now they do that in the first 10 days or it's a flop. Well, I think that's a problem.

[00:03:54] That metric as a barometer for success or the quality of a film I think is not good because there are plenty of really good movies that don't have banger opening weekends. To me it's like if they even have the opportunity to have good numbers in subsequent weeks,

[00:04:14] I don't know that they can do that anymore just because if they don't hit then they get downscaled and booted out of the theater. I heard Furioso wasn't bad. Furioso was great. Nobody went to see it. We had a good theater.

[00:04:25] We went and saw it opening weekend and our theater had a good was there was a full theater, but clearly that wasn't the case for the rest of the country. But it was a great movie. I didn't see it either. It's real good.

[00:04:37] I watch it when it's screaming at me. There it is. One didn't have the streaming. It didn't have to worry about Disney Plus. That was a long time ago. Eight fucking years. This movie was directed by Gareth Edwards. Oh, Gareth. Oh, G-dog. We're friends. No, we're not.

[00:04:57] It has two Oscar nom's. Do we call them nom's? We do. In my notes and in life. All right. And that's right. And then like 20 years from now, we're just going to call them Oscar. Man, I heard you got. Chicken. Congratulations on your new.

[00:05:13] Anyway, nominated twice for sound mixing and visual effects. That's all I wrote down. So I'm going to assume that Lord of the Rings one and they did not or the Matrix one of those two. One of the rings was around 2006. Twenty sixteen. Twenty six when this came out.

[00:05:32] You're right. You're right. Twenty sixteen. But also no Lord of the Rings finished its run by twenty sixteen. I'm sure at twenty sixteen it probably lost to an Avengers movie or some kind of MCU movie or something. Probably. Probably. So what what does this movie have?

[00:05:53] But none of the other movies have of the eleven movies in canon off the top of my head. A. Single reactor burst from the Death Star like a low powered Death Star strike. None of the other movies have that a warning shot.

[00:06:15] What the hell of a fucking warning? Yeah, only takes the third of your planet off. Yeah, although not all of it. I probably should have said it's the only movie in the Star Wars franchise series, whatever universe where all the main characters

[00:06:28] are dead by the end of it. True, which is awesome. Yeah, that's good. This movie can say that last time. It's weird that it's like it has stakes, but you also know they're all going to die.

[00:06:37] So it doesn't have at least but you're literally thinking the same thing this morning when I was watching. Yeah, when she's finally gotten to the tower on Scarif, she's got the data cartridge. Everyone is pretty much dead at that point. Yeah, we haven't seen what came of Cassian.

[00:06:53] So it's just Jen or so and she and she pops the cartridge in and the computer is like, well, must realign the antenna array. And I'm like one more hurdle. OK, all right, one more hurdle and she goes and does the thing.

[00:07:05] And plugging it in, plugging it back in. Right. I'm like, why do I give a shit? I know this works. Oh, wait, but I do give a shit because it's really well done. You're like, fuck, there's a fucking tie fighter coming. Push the button.

[00:07:16] So we're in facts and things about the show like the movie. Yeah, there were a lot of production issues with it. Like they did re-did a lot of it, correct? Or writing wise. I don't know. From what I've read is they always planned on doing reshoots.

[00:07:34] And whether it was Tony Gilroy or the original writing team and Gareth Edwards, whoever decided that it made more sense and it would be more impactful to kill off all the characters. They cracked the edit open and went and did reshoots

[00:07:52] to make it so that all of the characters, all the characters died by the end of it. And that's the right move. It was absolutely the right move. Like the quotes that I've seen in the official PR channels and all that shit is that it's that's how

[00:08:06] they make these kinds of movies or at least that crew. And they got into the edit, they had a good movie, but they saw a way to make it better. And the only way to do the better version was to go back and redo some things.

[00:08:21] And the press picks up on that and is like, oh, there's a problem. I don't know that it was a problem. I think it's part of the process. That's just how movies are made. That's at least how that movie was made. And the end result is fucking incredible.

[00:08:34] Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I want to argue that there's no other in my head, there's no other way that story comes out. I can't imagine like knowing that one of the big changes from the reshoots was that the main characters were killed

[00:08:52] because the original note that I saw was it was K2SO was the only one that they had originally killed in the script. And I mean, everybody else had to go because what do you do with them? Yeah, what do you do with this Mary Band of Soldiers

[00:09:06] that we never see again during the rebellion? If they made this movie three years later, would they have saved a couple and been like, we're going to spend this off and do a show? 100 percent. And I'm not saying that's a good thing

[00:09:17] with the blind guy and his buddy. They're going to watch that show. They're going to live because they're getting six episodes. Also, there was so good. Yeah, was so good. But then you get a show like and or,

[00:09:29] which is one of the shows in the last few years that people actually liked. And it's nothing like a Star Wars, really. But it's so good. Yeah, I mean, it's excellent. It's outside of the. You know, I think I think the first five things you think of

[00:09:44] when you think of Star Wars and take those five things away. And that's let's stay with facts because most of the notes that I took are for. Let's get nerdy with it. So what are some more facts? Are there more? No, that's all the facts.

[00:09:58] That's all the facts. So is it break time from here? We take a break and then we go to the force lightning round. Let's take a break. Oh, no. Another humdrum day doing your dumb job on Coruscant. Sometimes you need a delicious burger

[00:10:12] with a side of obscure weapons knowledge. Dex is diner open always. Dex has four arms and a unique face and he can cook a mean sloppy Joe. And he knows what kind of dart that is. Dex. Incredible healing powers of lactose. See, there's some truth to the.

[00:10:56] Oh, that's good. But no, it's all right. I mean, eat that snack. We're back for my break because I don't know what section of the show that we're in. Oh, no, we're in. I don't feel like we're recording. Are we recording? Yeah, we're recording.

[00:11:10] You don't have to push anything to record things. I do. He thought about it. Anyway, one would night him. I would like to point out. I have a sub terrific chug of luck. So fucking Rogue. Rogue, too, is on its way to go and wear Rogue One when.

[00:11:23] No, no, no, because we're now I can still see the rails. No, I got the rail right here. I don't know if we're on them. Seeing a rogue one. Fuck yeah, say it is Director Krennic showing up.

[00:11:36] They never did give the name of that planet, by the way, because I was trying to take notes because I know you like to do the number of planets and all that shit, but I don't know what that planet is.

[00:11:44] Regardless, we can't do that list on this when they broadcast are like, hey, there's trouble coming. They found us. It's time to go right. And they're in they show the interior of their their house or whatever it's called. There's a hatch from lost like front and center.

[00:12:03] Boom, blue milk. And so my note was stop really blue milk. It's what all growing kids need. But front and center there in the Urso household is a giant pitcher of blue milk and two iced tea glasses and some lemon cookies.

[00:12:23] Because you know, lemon cookies go with blue and a return of the Jedi souvenir glass from Hardie's Hardie's from 1984. Yep. All right. So what's this next section called? So is this for lightning round? No, for lightning round is round two. Fifies. Oh, for sliding is to no way.

[00:12:39] Hold on. Fifies. What did you love about this movie? For sliding is part two best seen, etc. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? This Google file I'm reading. He's got the whole he's got the sacred Jedi text. You do have it.

[00:12:53] I wrote it. You missed a page, dog. We're on part two. You said for sliding round. It ain't for sliding round. That's part two. The producers are arguing like this is when I feel most insecure is because the two Cori's are fighting.

[00:13:07] So what do you guys want to talk about? That's part two. No, see what I deal with. I read part of part one. See. All right. Now, Corey Martin has the conch. Sorry. Now, I was sorry. So what's the best scene of this movie? For me, hands down,

[00:13:23] it's the Death Star firing over Jeddah and Jen or so getting the the download from her father through the hologram in front of Saga era. That is such an emotionally impactful scene. The layering of of the Death Star eclipsing the sun over Jeddah.

[00:13:42] I mean, every bit of it is like two different shots there. It's when it's shooting down and then you see it eclipsing the sun like in two different ways. And it's amazing. Yeah, that's my favorite scene. I have two favorites.

[00:13:56] I really like the opening between Galen and Krennick in the setting. I love the planet, the look of it. I love their acting dialogue. It grabs you. That's a very good opening to a film. And then obviously the Darth Vader scene.

[00:14:11] I have a note from that first opening scene that says director Krennick's cape should get an Oscar. He is doing some work. It's time. At least a nom. It's right. At least an. At least give it a mmm. Hmm.

[00:14:27] I would say that like, do we as a scene do we call like the last battle? Is that the whole thing? A scene? The whole last act? That's like the last 20 minutes. All right, so from that hologram scene to from that last.

[00:14:41] Sequence, what's your favorite part of that sequence of the last act, the big action sequence over Scarif? I like almost everything involving K2SO. I love that character so much the way that he's like holding the thing and he's shooting down the different hallways without looking.

[00:14:58] And then he like gives himself up and he's the first one that dies. Yep, where you're like, oh, shit. And that's how are they getting off of this planet? Oh, wait, they're not. They haven't really planned this out. Like they're getting this thing. They're going to die.

[00:15:14] And then they do. And it's like, oh, shit. So this plant, this movie to me, this is one of the. One of the best scripts like the dialogue in this in this movie is really strong. And there's just a couple of exchanges that I wrote down

[00:15:32] just because I wanted to talk about we in best lines or in mind jumping around. No, no, no, no, that's next. OK, because I got a bunch of best lines. Yeah, broadcast major. So he said, wait, man.

[00:15:45] So opening scene still on director Krennic showing up to collect Galen or so. And they're talking about bringing him back to work on the weapons program. And Galen says you're confusing peace with terror. I had that. Yeah. And the Krennic says, well, you have to start somewhere.

[00:16:05] That's such a good line. And when the Senate gets wind of our project, countless systems will flock to the rebellion. When the battle station is finished, Governor Tarkin, this is between Krennic and Tarkin, Tarkin. When the battle station is finished to Governor Tarkin,

[00:16:21] the Senate will be of little concern. And Tarkin says, when has become now? Director Krennic, the emperor will tolerate no further delay. You have made time an ally of the rebellion. I suggest we solve both problems simultaneously with an immediate test of the weapon.

[00:16:40] Failure will have you explaining why to a far less patient audience. I will not fail. That's right before they fire the burst over Jeddah. He says, when has become now? You have made time an ally of the rebellion. Almost a space ball's line. Right.

[00:16:59] But when is now? Now was then. Right. We missed it. She is clever. Yeah. My my the other line that I have was that when Katie K2SO slaps and or after he's pretending to be an imperial.

[00:17:18] He says, and there's a fresh one if you mouth off again. And apparently that was ad libbed. Fucking great. Amazing. Great. So another line from Katie, so when she shoots the other droid and then he walks out and he says, did you know that wasn't me?

[00:17:33] Yeah. And she goes, yeah. But in that same in that same scene, he says, there were a lot of explosions for two people blending in. Tosses grenade killing four stormtroopers. You're right. I should just go wait on the ship. It was boring and you needed help.

[00:17:52] I had that typed up before the end. There's a fresh one if you know. Well, that tops that. So I want to talk about this show and its connection to the brilliant series and or because fuck me.

[00:18:04] That's the greatest Star Wars television show and I love the Mandalorian. Yeah. But I want to I want to call back to a part of Luthon's monologue from Andor. And that line is, I'm condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them.

[00:18:22] I burn my decency for someone else's future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I'll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror or an audience or the light of gratitude. There's a scene between Cassian and Chirrut

[00:18:42] where Chirrut says when they've been captured by Saw Gerrera's people and they're there in lock up. And Chirrut says, we've been in worse cages than these. And Cassian lies and says, this is a first for me. Right. Right.

[00:18:59] And Chirrut says, there is more than one sort of prison, Captain. I sense that you carry yours wherever you go. Cassian is a liar and a killer and he's become Luthon by the time Rogue One starts. Cassian has killed his way into this position of.

[00:19:17] He proves it pretty quickly. One of the notes I made elsewhere in the Google Doc was that he kills us to two stormtroopers pretty quickly in the city. And then his buddy with the bad arm and he's like, I can't climb out of this.

[00:19:30] I'm not going to do pow pow. Cap. He's pretty cold blooded. He is cold blooded in this movie. Another one of my favorite exchanges from the movie, all of the stuff with Tarkin, which by the way, the CGI Tarkin I did not like.

[00:19:45] But the writing for Tarkin is so delicious and just sassy and good. So it's right after the successful test at the Death Star. Right. So like there's that really cryptic shot, just morbid shot of Krennic looking down at the destruction below from orbit.

[00:20:02] And he goes, oh, how beautiful. Right. The marking on all that death. Yeah. So it's this quiet moment between him and Tarkin. There's all kinds of other people on the viewing deck and everybody's having a party and Tarkin says to him quietly, the emperor is awaiting my report.

[00:20:20] And Krennic says one had hoped that he and Lord Vader might have been here for such an occasion. And Tarkin responds, and I thought it prudent to save you from any potential embarrassment. Your concerns are hardly warranted. And then Tarkin gets sassy and gets loud.

[00:20:38] If saying it would only make it so. All and then Krennic says all imperial forces have been evacuated and I stand ready to destroy the entire moon. So it's before that that won't be necessary. We need a statement, not a manifesto.

[00:20:54] The holy city will be enough for today. Yeah, yeah. The Tarkin lines are so good. Yeah, he called blood and he is a robot. Where are we next? He wrote they couldn't have made that into a blue guy.

[00:21:10] I have a really important note here that just says this movie good. Very important. Oh, here's a fun line. General Sandula, please report to. Oh, yeah. You can hear them name check her and the hangar. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then when Vader force chokes Krennic and says,

[00:21:28] be careful not to choke on your aspirations. I'm pretty sure Ben Mendelsen looked at the camera and smiled because this is kind of cool. I'm getting choked by Vader. Yeah. And so for the rad. Yeah. I don't why did he go to Vader? Because he. Fortunately, he did.

[00:21:47] But now fortunately. Yeah. No time for love, Dr. Jones. Yeah. So like so the to Darth Vader, does he just sit on most afar? And he's just like Padme. I think when Darth Vader is not out doing a mission,

[00:22:05] he has to sit in the back of the tank. I miss Padme. He's pretty mad about Padme. He's like, hey, hey out there. Did you guys find my arm and my two legs yet? Because they're out there somewhere. They have returned to the. I found them.

[00:22:22] And they in fact have not found them. Another part. I mean, I was happy to see Vader's castle and it's kind of fitting that he built it where he fell. Yeah. You know, that was he could move no further. That was on. He had no legs. Jim.

[00:22:43] Every other planet has sand on it. That's the one planet. Sand turns into glass. It's just lava rock and lava. It's like no sand up in this place. My eyes crack is sand free. I have no arms. I have no legs.

[00:23:00] That was all I had. My wife is dead. My children will not talk to me, but there is no sand. In my underpants. What's next? House? Yeah, what's going on? We're still in Lightning round. Best villain. Is it Krennic? Krennic. He's the main villain in here.

[00:23:21] I mean, there's Vader. I mean, Vader pops up. But yeah, that's his thing. Yeah, you're right. But Krennic is Krennic is pretty good. Pretty. Krennic is a great villain. He's a good like because he's like a mid level, like but ambitious. So ambitious.

[00:23:38] Lost to grow and look, I'm taking on this death. So impatient. I'm getting move up because I'm cool. Does he die? Where does he die? He dies on the planet. Cassie and shoots his ass. But then leaves him, doesn't kill him. Leaves him somehow on the platform there.

[00:23:54] Now, Krennic took the brunt force of the second death star. He is he is definitely still alive on Scarif when he is hit in the face by the death star. What's death star? You don't want to take that to the face. That leaves a mark. Somehow for sure.

[00:24:11] Unless you are a palpatine. I had another note here. K2SO's entrance is one of the greatest in Star Wars when he grabs Jen or so and slams her to the ground and says congratulations. You are being rescued. Please do not resist. Yes.

[00:24:30] Yeah, I have him as my favorite side character. Yeah, he's the best side character. 100% favorite. I'm deep. Are we going to get to see him in and or season two? I would hope so. I would hope so too. Right. Like that's a cool character. It's an expensive character.

[00:24:43] There are already partners when that when Rogue One starts. Right. So when he says to her when he says to her something about you can come do whatever Cassian said I had to. Yes. He's like, I think it's a bad idea. So does Cassian. Best ship.

[00:25:05] There are a lot of really cool ships in this movie. We get the was it the it's not a Y wing because that's the bomber we've had forever. It's like a V wing. What's the thing where the they like it slide forward

[00:25:17] and that ship that I don't know what it's called, but the one that you're talking about reminded me of the holocron ship that Luthon flies and the Andor series. I wonder if it's from that same planet or designer or whatever. But I remember thinking,

[00:25:32] God, that kind of looks a little bit like Luthon's ship. His ship has lightsabers. Lightsabers. Sticking out of it. Sure. Why not? He's a collector. Yeah. Best shot of the movie. We know which one you think is the best shot. Shot.

[00:25:49] This might be a shot that was referred to in our solo in our solo episode and neither one of us caught it. So you got the Star Destroyer coming out of the shadow of a planet or the Death Star.

[00:26:03] I don't remember which star, but you see like boom, boom, boom as the different parts hit the sunlight and like light up and it looks so 3D and giant and real. It's amazing and it is not in the solo. It is not in solo.

[00:26:15] It is in this movie. So as far as I know, solo does not have a best shot. It's why I think you were thinking of this shot. So in solo when they're about to make the Kessel Run, there's there's a blockade.

[00:26:31] And it shows up in the Death Star in the maelstrom. So it's smoky and foggy and there's lightning and this is this massive silhouette of this Star Destroyer that's blocking their their passage out of the Kessel System. And they have to go into the maelstrom.

[00:26:46] That is a cool shot. That is the coolest shot that you described was from Rogue One. Yes, putting the dish in the Death Star. So automatically 10 points from Gryffindor. Got it. What's your favorite shot from this film?

[00:27:01] I don't know if it's a shot, but the whole sequence where. They're trying to get off of Jedha and Jedha's being. Slowly blown away. And you see the shot of Saw Gerrera in the door of the cave. And he was like, fuck it is my time.

[00:27:18] Is that the weakest part of this whole movie? Why does Saw Gerrera just stand there and he's like, I've done enough. He tired, man. I'll go ahead and think he's done. I think he's done. I really do. He could trust his friend to finish the mission.

[00:27:32] He's so far gone. Yes, he knows that if Jen makes it off, she will carry the fight forward. But he's so far gone like when the pilot shows up with the important information. Gerrera's neuroses and fear and paranoia is so pervasive

[00:27:50] that it prevents him from actually tortures the guy instead of actually having enough sense of what is right and wrong to be able to do something with that intel. Yeah. So he was kind of done. But there's another great two S.O. line where K2SO says

[00:28:06] there's a problem with the horizon. There is no horizon. Yeah. Also in that scene before they blow them up, there are giant statues built into the desert of Jedi's pointing into the distance. Jedi's love giant statues. They got it from Tolkien. That's like their favorite Jedi's love.

[00:28:34] Tolkien and the never ending story. Thing number one, steel children. Favorite thing number two, build giant statues of just bearded white men pointing pointing in the desert. I didn't see it. I missed it. Loves it. Just watched it this morning. What's next?

[00:28:52] It's the one where it falls over. And it's like laying in the bin. It's like the same statue that. What's his name? Ray. Ray Stevens. Balan's goal. Yeah, that guy was standing on at the end of the Soka. You'll I peed off the side of it

[00:29:11] because his whole goal in life is to find something tall enough to pee off of that he could finish before the first drop hit the ground. You're zipped up before it hits. It's perfect. That's the perfect. It's perfect. So what's next?

[00:29:25] What's the best city or planet or set design or what location, basically? I didn't put anything. Best part of this movie. You go. I do like the opening scene, by the way. I mentioned that opening planet. I liked we get Jeddah, which is cool.

[00:29:45] We don't see like the temple or anything. We just see like the streets. Where else do we go? So I had a note that said I remember as a kid watching movie magic or some behind the scenes special with George Lucas talking about Return of the Jedi.

[00:30:02] And he was talking about how he wanted three main settings for that movie with three distinct color palettes, the brown sand of Tatooine in the first act, the lush green forest of Endor and the cold gray metal structures of the Death Star.

[00:30:14] They kind of did something similar in Rogue One, where you've got you've got the the the brown tones inside the city of Jeddah when they go into the temple and just everything about Jeddah's kind of shades of brown and orange.

[00:30:30] And then when they go to what the hell is that planet called? Eidu, the imperial Kiber refinery. It's like shades of purple and blue and dark and at night. So the canyons and stuff, those things. Yes. And then you go to Scarif, which is this tropical setting,

[00:30:47] which is probably my favorite setting because I've never seen the tropics rendered in Star Wars quite like that before, like those blues. The palm tree. It's but if you notice, those palm trees were planted in grids. And those freaking like ad-ats walking on the beach.

[00:31:02] Come on. Beach ad-ats. That's great. With their little Hawaiian shirts. That's my vote. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, Scarif. Best location. Agreed. Extra and Lilo and Stitch. That's true. What's the best use of the force in this movie? We don't really have we have no Jedi's.

[00:31:18] The last time we talked about it, we said there was none. But then Vader, force, Vader, force, jokes and slaps people around with it. That's it. I guess it's Vader. But let's talk about if you won't say that the blind man is using the force.

[00:31:32] He's just so good at being blind. Can we talk about that for a second? Because the forces with him and he's one with the force. And he's one of my favorite characters. So cheer it play by Donnie N.

[00:31:43] Is one of my favorite characters in the Star Wars universe. Are we saying he is not force sensitive? Here's what I'm saying. He's just a groupie. He's the best version of our kids selves. He believes so strongly in the force, but cannot wield the force.

[00:31:57] And then I had to note this is he's is he like a squid equivalent of Argus Filch from Harry Potter. Right. Like he's of wizarding blood, but has no magic. He should have it. He gets through enough of that first battle with the stormtroopers

[00:32:09] and then Bayes Malvis is like, bro, I had to bail you out. But I'm just saying he reminds me of the way we thought about Star Wars when we were kids. He believes so much in it.

[00:32:20] But he I dressed up like a Jedi to come to your house. OK, so he reminds me of us seven minutes ago. And then we were so young. My other note was so immature. But even though he doesn't have the force, he can whoop ass with a stick.

[00:32:35] How many times did we duel with cardboard tubes from Christmas wrapping paper when we were kids? Right. Like I'm one with the force. The force is with me. I connect with that sentiment. The floor I said light bulbs that one time. That was that one time.

[00:32:48] It was a bad idea. Do not try this at home, kids. Smart it off. Our insurance underwriters says we're supposed to tell you that's a bad idea. Don't do it. The dogs are upset. Everyone's upset. Don't do it. The dog is about to go do it.

[00:32:59] There's a dog two doors over there. I might not connect it out of this podcast. So this this movie like special effects wise, there's nothing where you're like that looks dumb. Yes, there is. Which part? Tarkin doesn't work for me. Face replaced. Tarkin doesn't work. That's true.

[00:33:15] And the face replace on Leia is not good. But I thought they try to soften Leia up too much. I thought about that. And yeah, Star Wars because of Lucas's incredible talent and ability to drive and push boundaries and technology like there's shit in Star Wars.

[00:33:35] A new hope that doesn't hold up. Yeah. No. There's shit in this that doesn't hold up. It didn't look good when I saw it in the theater. That's why he remade all his movie. Right. So like I so watching Tarkin on screen

[00:33:49] and it should have been a person recast and not a face swap. I get it. They were practicing. It should have just been but they were practicing. The face. Lelou. It doesn't have to be Tarkin. I like that it's Tarkin, but it didn't have to be Peter Cushing.

[00:34:04] You know, it could have been somebody that looks like Peter Cushing, but it makes sense that they were pushing that technology and doing everything they could to get it to be showtime. And in 2016, that was showtime for it. I wonder if it's kind of a reaction to when

[00:34:21] because this is after Force Awakens comes out. And that was one of Lucas's complaints was not where he was like, well, you made a Star Wars movie, but there's nothing new. He's like, this one I did Jar Jar. We never had that before.

[00:34:33] This one we had a whole room, whatever. Like he's he just thinks there has to be something that's never been done before. Well, he develops the technology inside Star Wars. And then that technology flows into lots and lots of other movies that aren't connected to Star Wars.

[00:34:47] But then he saw Force Awakens and he was like, you didn't do anything that we haven't done before. So it was disappointed. So I wonder if when they made this, they were like, oh, this is why we're swinging for the fences with the

[00:34:56] and Gareth Edwards love as a wreck. Like there's it was fun watching this because I guess this is part of the nerdy section. So what's what section are we on right now? We're still in lightning round. Oh boy. It's fine. We're prepared.

[00:35:11] We're on use of the force is what we're talking about. I know Vader kicking ass at the end and force choking, Krennic best use of the force. I half agree. Okay. Him saying don't choke on your aspirations was so corny that it ruins it for me.

[00:35:28] I'm like, you brought him in to say like a Schwarzenegger level line. A little onesie. I don't like it. Little tee hee hee. Is that it for this round? Is this movie woke? Strong female lead. Female lead. It's woke. Strong Hispanic lead.

[00:35:45] The only white guy is the bad guy. Right. Hey, oh, hey. Well, her dad wasn't a bad guy. That's true. Okra was he. He was he was Oppenheimer. That's true. He was Oppenheimer. All right. Break time then we come back for the last round. Right. Yeah. Sounds good.

[00:36:02] Brought to you by blue milk. Yeah. Hey, do you love jizz? Do you spend your afternoons in a cantina drinking blue milk and listening to jizz? Do you like Max Rebo the galactic jizz whalers? Catch a speeder to Tatooine and take your lady to Jabba's Palace.

[00:36:24] Let some of our fresh hot jizz wash over you. Jizz. Welcome back everybody. You know, like how you can remember 9-11 and you can remember JFK. I can also remember when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. Chris Rock. I wasn't even watching. I was in the other room.

[00:36:43] But my homie, my homie see murder texted me and he said, he said, Will Smith just smacked Chris Rock on TV. You were a minute after me because I was in the other room and my wife goes. And I was like, what are you talking about?

[00:36:54] I think something's happening. And then I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, come here. And I walk in there and she's like, Will Smith just walked on stage and then smacked shit out of Chris Rock. And then became a culture of it.

[00:37:06] What about Star Wars? And then like a half an hour later, we were like, that's fine. Don't blow me in on that shit. I wasn't watching anything. I had no idea what was going on. That's Will Smith. We're still going to make like four more bad boys

[00:37:21] movies and he will fight aliens and it's fine. Yeah. Bad boys, bad boys. We don't like Chris Rock. It's fine. Slapped by. I do like Chris Rock. I love Chris Rock. He's amazing. Yeah. My favorite thing that he did is the very Murray Christmas special.

[00:37:37] Did you ever see that? No, Chris Rock. Yeah. So it's a classic variety show style Christmas special for Netflix a couple of years ago. It's really, really well done. Lots of cameos incredibly well done. And the whole pretenses like Bill Murray's character is hosting a live Christmas review

[00:37:57] at this hotel in Manhattan and he doesn't want to do it. Yeah. And he's absolutely just over the whole thing. And then this epic Blizzard, you know, hits Manhattan and shuts everything down. But he still has a writer and so he has to still do it.

[00:38:16] And the first guest that shows up is Chris Rock. Chris Rock is just he happens to grab him off the street as Chris Rock playing himself and loops him into this into performing. And it's really well done. It's funny as shit. You should watch it.

[00:38:31] I digress Star Wars. What's the round? Rogue One, round three. Let's get nerdy. What's the question? Here's the question. You want a question? I'll give you a question. This movie. Is the biggest and most successful movie based fully on just a retcon.

[00:38:53] This whole movie is just to explain how Luke could blow up the Death Star with one shot. The whole movie is to fill one plot hole from 1977. Where? They did a great job. And if I just my notes. Before this movie, it was common knowledge

[00:39:15] and it was the belief shared by most people in the Star Wars community that George Lucas had a butthole fetish. And that a new hope was all about Luke finger popping his father's own butthole. So I don't know about that part.

[00:39:34] It was about buttholes until this movie came out. Thank you, Rogue One. We can now watch Star Wars without thinking about buttholes all the time. Thanks, Star Wars. Good job, Star Wars. Way to go, Rogue One. Unless you listen to this podcast and then there's three buttholes

[00:39:46] talking about buttholes. Didn't we establish an episode or two ago that he's gonna always come out with one thing per episode that's gonna make us just like stop breathing for a minute or two? It does sound familiar. So I think. Remember finger popping?

[00:39:59] I'm gonna have to do Rogue One part three. Rogue Three. That's round three is getting nerdy with it. So. All right, so that's your nerdy with it. I've got one that's a little more grounded, less butthole. But you know still. We'll see.

[00:40:14] I thought it was weird that Jen Erso as a kid had a stormtrooper toy as a, a stormtrooper figure as a toy. When they're hiding from the empire she's like I'll play with a stormtrooper toy. It's like I was playing with Darth Vader toys

[00:40:29] and we were a kid. Yeah, I'm gonna be the bad guy. So Darth Vader's in a movie. Right but our parents weren't hiding from Darth Vader. The stormtroopers are killing her family. That's true. Yeah, you're right. So in that same scene and that same opening sequence

[00:40:43] with Jen as a little kid when she finally runs away, once Kranic kills her mom and takes her dad and she's hiding in the bunker. It's a cinematography in this movie. It's really fucking good. There's a shot of young Jen Erso in the bunker

[00:41:01] with the electric lamp illuminating her and it's like blinking on and off and it's blinking on and off and it's just her face that's kind of flashing in the dark. So I wrote as a note for this section of the podcast

[00:41:13] she is the spark that will light the fire that will cook the hot dogs that will feed the rebels which will in turn ignite the heartburn and will then inspire said rebels to take better care of themselves which will lead somehow to Palpatine's return. Somehow. Solved.

[00:41:33] That's the whole show right there ladies and gentlemen. You found it, you're right. Yep. That's where it comes from. Jen Erso. Huh. People act like this is hard. People act like you can't find this stuff. It's right there in the movie. It's right there. If you just watch.

[00:41:47] We missed F words in the last room. Oh we need to add one F word to his movie. Did you have one? It's coming from K2SO. We're talking about F words. Oh wait, if we're talking about F words

[00:41:59] I have it right here just coincidentally my note says Saw Gerrera is channeling his best Dennis Hopper playing Frank Booth from Blue Velvet when he's using the breathing mask. I was waiting for him to scream let's fuck. Fuck. I'm fucking using the moves.

[00:42:16] My line from this movie where I would add an F word was when Jared was like they put a bag over his head and he's like are you kidding me? I'm fucking blind. I'm blind. Why didn't you wait because I was fucking boring? Because it was fucking boring.

[00:42:36] Shout out to Alan Tudyk. He's so much fun. I love that guy. He's so much fun. What a terrible name. Nah, it's a great name. Two dicks. Yeah. He's better than one. But he got two dicks. Yeah. Okay, speaking of dicks. Speaking of dicks. Yeah, finally. Thank you.

[00:42:54] Action sequence in the city of Jeddah. That incredible just raw almost like watching newsreel footage from Iraq or Afghanistan. Yep. You know that horrible firefight in that town square. The action set piece in the city of Jeddah is incredible. Gareth Edward Styles on display.

[00:43:13] So this is a thing that I like to do when I'm flying and I'm going from one place to the other. I'll put on. Can you talk about it like on an airplane? I'm on an airplane. I'm not in the Milano Mofalcon.

[00:43:24] I'm on a Delta, whatever, the Sacramento. This isn't a pseudonym for something. No. You're just flying in an airplane. Okay. I'll put on a movie and leave it like, I'll put the same movie on all the time. I won't listen to it.

[00:43:37] I'll just put it on and it's how I mark time. And so I've been doing that with the creator, which was Gareth Edward's most recent movie. And so I just kind of, you see the movie a little differently that way, whatever without sound and color and all that.

[00:43:51] And I'm watching that action sequence in the city of Jeddah and you can see like certain traits and hallmarks and like his style on display. And I just thought it was really cool. But the note that I wanted to make, which was about Dick,

[00:44:05] after Cassian shoots the rebel who is about to throw a grenade on the tank where Jen is hiding and turns up blowing up some civilians, Jen gets up and shoots a stormtrooper in the dick. I went back and rewound it. Like as she's running away from the tank,

[00:44:24] she's just like, capow! Right in the dick. She didn't put a bomb in the dick though. No. That's the worst thing. She would if she had one. That's the worst thing. It's a spike nut. If you all, I don't think we've ever told the spike nut story.

[00:44:41] Spike nut for that punk ass bitch? Spike nut originated in the late 90s when Mario Kart 64 and the three of us would play in the apartment of Jim and Corey. I don't think these people are ready. And the blue shell is called the spike nut.

[00:44:56] That's all you need to know. Spike nut. And it was a bomb in the dick. Saying it. Spike nut and bomb in the dick, which is what you think, spike nut was the blue one. Bomb in the dick was the great shell.

[00:45:04] Bomb in the dick was a surprise. Yeah, that's a surprise. It was the surprise, that's right. You got a bomb in your dick. Because you think you're getting something good. Like a treat. But there's a bomb. In the dick. Bomb in the dick is a George Carlin joke.

[00:45:22] Was it really? Yeah. Is that where we got that? Oh, it is. Where did spike nut come from? Our dumbasses. No, that is just a nut with spikes. That's a nut. That's a nut. Because I believe the full phrase was spike nut for that ass.

[00:45:36] Yeah, I'm sure it was. Yeah. We should get shirts made and say spike nut to have nothing to do with our podcast. The mouse pads. Beach towels. Oh, spike. People love beach towels. Where are we on next? That's all my dirty shit.

[00:45:52] I think that's all I had to. The rebels break into, at the beginning of the movie, they break into a prison and they get in jail or so out. Yeah. They pull her aside and they're like, look, we know who you really are.

[00:46:06] So we have a mission for you. Right. You need to go find your dad, blah, blah, blah. Or we'll just put you right back in prison, whatever you want. Right. That's the exact same opening as The Rock, starring Sean Connery. Nick Cage. Nick Cage.

[00:46:24] They go and get Sean Connery out of prison and they're like, you're the only one that's broken out of The Rock. And then he's like, yeah, I'll break you back into The Rock. Is Nick Cage in The Rock? It's not Nick Cage, is it? Yeah, it's Nick Cage.

[00:46:37] But Nick Cage is Connery. He gets in there with it. Oh, that's right. Isn't Connery too? But Connery's when he's like put the bunny back in the box. In The Rock, he's like the he's like, I collect Beatles vinyl. That's how you know I'm interesting. Yeah. Remember?

[00:46:55] I haven't seen either of those movies since we saw them in the theater. In the theater. The theater. In the theater. We used to see some good things in the theater. We used to see movies in the theater. Right. Because we didn't have shit else to do. Right.

[00:47:08] And now we have like, it's on streaming. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't have phones in our pockets. We were just mindful all the time. When we were in college, we were just we were too busy fucking making movies.

[00:47:22] We had one phone on the wall and no one knew the number to it. Except for. I would call it to try to wake y'all up. What was her name? When it was time to. Melissa. Melissa. Melissa's mom had her number. Malia.

[00:47:36] I'm trying to get this kid to the bus. She can go to school. You need to come and say hi. You guys remember tape machines, but like we used to get some really incredible voicemails on our not even voicemails, but like recorded messages on our answering machine.

[00:47:55] Yeah, it wasn't until fucking cell phones come along. You got a voicemail and then you had. Let me tell you something right now. And let me ask you this. My favorite piece of technology. Better since then or worse?

[00:48:06] It's gotten better because I don't have to listen to voicemails. I can read them now and I can be like no. No, I will not call you back, sir. But that would not have been as fun in real life on the phone.

[00:48:21] I have somebody had left a Malia type voicemail. I would have sent it to everyone that I listened to that tape. Lots and lots. Pick up the phone. Sure. I mean, actually still have that tape. Yeah, there's no way we're throwing that away.

[00:48:34] Now, I'm just going to put it on our YouTube page. It's part of the secret Jedi text. Shit. Are we still talking about Rogue One? It's like our origin story. Yeah, we are. We're at Rogue One with Jen Erso. Rogue Two is the name of this episode.

[00:48:46] This episode is Rogue Two. The reroguing. The reroguing. Yeah. Is that it? Do we wrap it up? There's Joe Rogan. He's not in this show, though. Not affiliated with us at all. All right.

[00:49:03] So let's use the end of this podcast to talk a little bit about what we think we might get from Andor season two, since Andor season two is supposed to cover five years, right? And it's supposed to be told in three separate story chunks or three separate

[00:49:21] arcs, kind of like what they did with the first one, but three different time periods. What do you think we're going to get? I don't know because I try not to read that shit anymore. Is it going to like lead up to this movie?

[00:49:33] Is it going to be like this ends with I hope in the show. We know why Old Boy in the opening sequence has a wounded arm when Cassian's like trying to get some intel out of them.

[00:49:43] And I'd like for that guy, that character at least, if they can't get the same actor, I'd like for that character to be they established a precedent with Rogue One by handing literally handing off to a new hope at the end of it.

[00:49:59] I feel like the second season of Andor needs to hand off immediately to Rogue One. Yeah, they may not. But and if they don't, then it's only so they can leave room in there to make another season. That's true. They make it three.

[00:50:17] They won't make three with Andor. And or. All right. But I'm excited for a man. I'm Andor is probably my favorite series that have done. Really good Crescent Moon in the beginning of it. Yep. Crescent Moon fades into the logo into the logo. Great lovely title treatment.

[00:50:34] Yep. Is that it? That's everything. Did you close your notebook? I closed it. He did. All right, well, y'all follow us on Instagram and threads at we are a Star War. You can follow our network of fellow podcasters at thealabamantech.com

[00:50:47] or on any social media at the Alabama take and be sure to subscribe to the newsletter at the top of thealabamantech.com. You can get T shirts at teepublic.com to search for the Alabama Take store. We got a takedown notice from Star War at one point.

[00:51:02] No, we didn't. So we put them back up and they haven't said nothing yet. So I didn't do it. Go look for it at teepublic.com. Why you can there's new designs up since the last time we recorded shout out to our boy Stevie G. Stevie G.

[00:51:17] And we'll talk to you all next time. We don't know when that will be, but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later and not. Earlier. That's it. Hot damn. There we go. Sound effect can hurt me.