We are not experts (though our percentages are better than some of the experts). If you go by these picks, you’re bound to be lose money. Though you never know: it’s entirely possible that you’ll be able to pay off all those student loans! Each week, two crazy, lazy writers at The Alabama Take give their best guess at the best bets with the lowest stress. It’s our college football picks of the week!
2018 ATS Record
Blaine Duncan: 19-13 (Week Eleven: 2-1)
T.D. Wood: 16-16-1 (Week Eleven: 2-0-1)
Ah, yes. Cupcake Week. Not much to see, but there’s always a game or three to bet on. Last week’s set of picks still saw me performing with that 2-1 record. If you’re a loyal reader, you’ll figure out by now that you should use two of my picks each week to place your bets. It’s just up to you to figure out which one to disregard! I’m still hovering around 59%, so I’m better than some experts. (Shout out to Coach P.A.W. and Caleb Johnson for allowing me that last sentence.) Here are my picks for Week Twelve.
Iowa State (+3) at Texas: Out in middle of the largest state in the continental U.S., Tom Herman fumes after the antagonistic barbs from the even more doltish Zach Smith. Coaches, with their lame speak and coded language, act as though outside forces have no affect on them, labeling such noise with vague generalities. The only true person who appears to be able to shut down the shit is Nick Saban, who has no Internet or Twitter. Tom Herman is no Nick Saban. Texas is a fine team. Iowa State is a fine team. I’d pick Coach Matt Campbell any day of the week over Coach Tom Herman. Road dogs!
Cincinnati (+7) at Central Florida: UCF is amazing! They’ve beaten such amazing teams, such as Memphis (by one point), and Temple (but allowed the Owls to score 40 points), and not to mention the perennial football powerhouse Connecticut (the Knights’ best showing of the season)! Jesus. As I’ve stated before here, Central Florida is one of the biggest jokes in football this year, especially with the College Football Playoff Committee ranking them 11. And sure, the Knights may get the win here (they won’t), but they won’t do it by seven points. Lay that cash on the Bearcats.
San Diego State at Fresno State (-12.5): The true winners of the state of California do not rest in smarmy Palo Alto or even illustrious Los Angeles this year. The Fresno State Bulldogs are the best two-loss team in the nation. The Aztecs are wishing to prove that title belongs to them. They won’t. Fresno State will win by two touchdowns and the extra points that tend to come with them.
Arizona at Washington State (-10.5): Noted for his genius as much as his demeanor in press conferences, Mike Leach is pure joy. He has the Cougars in the proverbial driver’s seat with their 9-1 record and their top seat in the Pac-12 North. I’ll use my soothsaying skills to predict a big win over the Wildcats at home this week, a relatively easy feat this year. Kevin Sumlin has never really had the tendency to win games that matter. Washington State uses their home field advantage and goes up by twenty-one points late in the fourth quarter. Go Cougars.
Back at .500, just in time for the stretch run. Not too much going on this week, which usually means thing are gonna get weird. Weird is good, as long as it doesn’t happen to your team.
Syracuse (+9.5) vs. Notre Dame (at Yankee Stadium): I’ll be honest, I’m picking Syracuse because Notre Dame has got some kinda bad karma coming their way for this abomination. Awful, just awful. Also, Syracuse is kinda, you know, good.
UAB (+16.5) at Texas A&M: I… I can’t believe I’m doing this. UAB should have no chance at Kyle Field, but this team is solid and full of confidence. They won’t win, but they’ll scare the shit outta Aggie fans.
Cincinnati (+7) at UCF: Primetime, national spotlight, UCF has something to prove. Which makes them ripe for the upset. That said, I don’t think they’ll lose, but this one will be am amazing shootout. Now, for a tangent on UCF. Of course I think the whole “national champs” thing is ridiculous. I think it’s preposterous they believe they deserve a shot under the current system. That said, I think it’s fucked up they don’t have a realistic shot at a national title. They are indeed a good football team. But until there is a change in the system, they shouldn’t be in any playoff talk. But, that’s a discussion for another day.
Note: All games are Against the Spread. Odds are taken from the Westgate Las Vegas Superbook.