Big Problems With 'The Challenge: All Stars Rivals' | "Rivals On The Edge"

The second episode of this season of The Challenge: All Stars Rivals reveals the major issue, a big concern this early for the show: this cast is not the right fit. It goes beyond the ubiquitous complaint of who is an “all star” versus who is not. Instead, it’s the old-school players – many of whom can carry the nomenclature of legend or legendary – and the newer faces. It’s an awkward ensemble and it’s made worse with a stale setup from production, using both the format from All Stars 4 and the location of Season 40 of the flagship show. This could be one of the worst seasons The Challenge has produced to date. 

Rivals makes for a fun premise for viewers, and as annoying as Nicole is, she could be anyone’s rival. But the pairings need to go farther than someone’s voice and persona as grating as Nicole. Many of the pairings have made amends of sorts, and Leroy and Devin look like decades-old besties. 

Which is all fine if the season is more or less pairs who sometimes disagree. That isn’t an unusual season for The Challenge. The bigger issue here are the rules and sets. First, players who win have stars. Four teams have them. These four teams can feasibly keep them all season, but only if they’re good enough to win each week’s challenge. That makes them targets, as winners of a daily challenge can vote themselves into elimination to try to steal the stars. It’s the same as last season’s All Stars. All of the losers from the week nominate a pair and the winners nominate a pair. Those four duke it out in an elimination. MTV is either getting lazy or running out of ideas. 

This week, it’s back to the top of the skyscraper in Vietnam which viewers saw in Battle of the Eras last season. Instead of running off the edge to jump and snatch a flag, the rivals have a partner tied to a rope while the other anchors the partner tightly enough so that they don’t fall but not too tightly so that they can’t grab the four flags needed to finish the competition. If one player falls, they both fall. Every team has ten minutes and the fastest of the pairs wins the challenge. 

It’s a scary proposition, yes, but the show now shows us that it’s really only Darrell who can be hilarious, entertaining, and still scared shitless with his fear of heights. Everyone – and it damn near was everyone – this week just bailed in tears and annoyance. Aneesa couldn’t even make it to the edge to help Ashley Mitchell get some flags despite Aneesa being an anchor who didn’t have to lean out as far. Beth cries and she’s indoors. She’s not even out near the ledge. It’s time to stop inviting Beth unless the plan is to push her off the side of the building.

Adam and Steve do well as both have to leap to get all four flags, but they do it. In an even more adroit attempt, Amber B. and Faysal win with neither having to fall off a building.  

And then it rains. 

The remaining players vote not to return the next day to finish the daily, giving viewers nothing. With so many simply not doing the challenge and then the rain, it was all underwhelming. It grants Faysal and Amber B. the win for this week, which they mostly deserve, and they’ll pick a pair to face the losers’ nomination. 

Overall, it was a perfect daily challenge to convey what an awful set of competitors this season has. There should be some strict punishment for not trying. Sure, T.J. gives some half-hearted encouragement about not quitting, but that’s of no consequence to these wimps. Disqualify them! Put them in elimination immediately! Take away their appearance fees! Something! 

For the losers’ nominations, T.J. shows up at the house. Frank lobbies for Adam and Steve early and often, and it works. They get the vote. Adam and Steve face Beth (thank fucking god) and Jonna in elimination thanks to Faysal and Amber’s decision. 

In “The Jungle,” the nickname of this season’s elimination arena, Adam and Steve have to put their stars on the line in a game where each of the pairs are put into cylinders with poles inserted to block their ways in and out. Each pair must role a die and place a new pole in the color of the cylinder that comes up on the roll. After five rounds, the team that finishes the fastest gets the win. The other pair heads home.  

Though Adam and Steve have more bulk and weight, they manage to defeat Beth and Jonna in a milder elimination and keep their stars for another week. 

The episode soon comes to a close but not before Sylvia and Kellyanne yell a lot at one another. At least their rivalry has some spark. KellyAnne is insufferable, despite her love and care for animals. Even that can’t make her endearing. It’s patently true that she thinks very highly of herself; it fills every inch of the screen when she’s on camera. As for Sylvia? Does anyone really count themselves a fan? 

You can't control the weather, but this week is a disaster. 

Confessionals

• Perhaps it’s the less-than-stellar cast, but Faysal is bringing a slight tweak to his egotistical vibe that he usually presents. Yes, he’s still full of unwarranted pride, but in this cast, he probably deserves it and it’s almost humorous this season. 

• Any pair besides Devin and Leroy, Adam and Steve, or Faysal and Amber B. winning this thing would shock me. 

• Not a large contingent of fans count the spin-off shows (All Stars, The Challenge: USA, etc.) as true championships. I, however, do. Where do you land?