Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace

[00:00:00] Hello there, my name is Corey and I am a Star War. My name is also Corey and I am also a Star War. And my name is Jim and I am a Star War. And we are a Star War! Hey look at that!

[00:00:20] That was the best one ever. This is a new fancy episode. We teased it in our last mini episode. Super size. Super size. Hashtag fancy. We ended up being 36 minutes but we're going to find out. I'm here for three hours.

[00:00:33] What had happened was, is we're going to start with Episode 1. Corey has come up with a list of facts and or questions that we're going to talk about for each movie, each of the 11 movies.

[00:00:47] So if you'll forgive us, we will be a little bit prepared for these episodes. But just a little bit. Just a little bit. We're usually pretty much winging it. So this is going to be fun.

[00:00:59] This one of course Episode 1 is called The Phantom Menace aka The Phantom Mentus. And I think in one of the episodes that I lost, if you haven't listened before, I lost three episodes worth of shows.

[00:01:13] And so we did two, re-recorded two already today but this is going to be a new element. Anyway, the story behind why we say Mentus is that I was working at a blockbuster video, late 90s-ish, early 2000s.

[00:01:30] There was a movie called Don't Be A Menace To Society While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood. Yes. Which was like a sort of spoof movie on like hood movies, right? Basically from the late 90s boys in the hood, juice. Menace to Society. Menace to Society, etc., etc.

[00:01:48] Which reminds me, I really haven't seen Don't Be A Menace or... I haven't seen Menace to Society or Boys In The Hood in Forever and both of those are fucking excellent movies. I watched Menace to Society not too long ago. It's kind of hard to watch now.

[00:02:05] Yeah, a bit. Oh, like how? This is violent. I was into this. Right. It was scary me at 15, yeah. But I was working at blockbuster and I was grumpy a lot in those years. I was mad. He showed up today grumpy here by the way. Yeah, I did.

[00:02:27] But I'm not anymore. I got the homies and some chicken wings. I'm good. He was angry. But yeah, so I was working this guy. I was like, hey, do you all have Don't Be A Menace to Society? And I was like, yeah, hold on a minute.

[00:02:38] Let me go look. So I go and check the drop box and I kind of flip around in there and I can see that there's not one in there. Right. And I was like, no, we don't have it. And dude goes, did you even look?

[00:02:52] And I was like, yeah, I just looked for what you look for. I said, don't be a menace to Society. I said, I won't. Don't be a mentis. And I'm fairly certain I turned around and was like, what's a mentis?

[00:03:09] And I remember at the time my boss, Brooks Paris, it shout out Brooks was like, hey, Brooks, don't be a dick. Right. Like that, you know, which was funny because Brooks was a dick to a lot of people also.

[00:03:22] But if he was my boss and he was telling me not to be a dick, I was like, I'm not. I just pointed out the fact that I looked for this movie and it's not there. And it became this whole thing with us saying mentis.

[00:03:32] So we'll probably say mentis 700 times over the course of this podcast. Or we might surprise you and not say it ever again. We might even sing it. And I feel like I say that he was grumpy when he got here because he was when he got here. Salty.

[00:03:47] All right, so let's go over the facts, Corey. Corey producer Corey producer Corey is here today. Okay, so I've got a structure here. It's kind of based on trilogies because Star Wars loves trilogy. So we're going to have three parts.

[00:03:59] Part one today is going to be facts and feelings and one big question. So I'm going to start with some facts. This is the this is the prepared version portion of the episode. This is Star Wars Episode one, the phantom mentis.

[00:04:14] That is the official title written and directed by George Lucas released May 19th 1999. The budget was $115 million. It made $924 million on its first run. Wow. Then it came out again like in 2012 in 3D and it made another hundred million then.

[00:04:33] So it's over a billion dollars of box office. It's technically an independent film. Right. Yeah, that's right. That was before Lucas before they sold to Disney. And so in 1999 making $924 million made it the number two box office for the year because Titanic came out there. Oh wow.

[00:04:58] And then when it came to Oscars time, it got nominated for best sound effects editing, best visual effects and best sound. And it lost all three of them to the matrix. Oh wow. Matrix one all three of those Oscars. Oh wow that was the same year? Yeah. Fuck.

[00:05:16] So fun fact. This is the only movie before you could just order your movie tickets on your phone. You had to go to the box office and get them. This is the only movie I've ever camped out overnight for. Yep, same. I was there. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:32] This movie is 1999. At the now defunct Cinemark. Not Cinemark. Cinemark. What was it? Fuck. What was the name of that chain? I don't know. They had brats. Yeah. It's not Cinemark. I remember that. But yeah no we stayed up all night. We weren't in costume.

[00:05:49] There were some there who were and camped out with a bunch of like minded individuals. Shout out Jeremy Barnes. Had a great time. There was some epic lightsaber battles. And then we got the tickets.

[00:06:04] We all went home, took a nap and then came back that night because this was the midnight showing of what would have been the like the pre-Friday sneak peek so it was like midnight. Thursday at midnight. No it was Wednesday at midnight. Right.

[00:06:20] Because that was Thursday o'clock right? Right. So we stayed up all night the night before, went home and took whatever kind of nap a 20 year old can take. Yeah. Where were you 20? 99. We were 22. 22. There you go. Go outside nerd. Go outside nerd. A little enough to know better.

[00:06:43] A little enough to know better. And then went to go see a two plus hour movie starting at midnight. Yeah. We were young once. The theater was packed, lots of people in costumes and that theater had stadium seating and we were somewhat near the back.

[00:06:58] That was new at the time. That was new and I remember a group of people making a straw that went from the back row all the way to the front row and they were drinking out of someone's cup in

[00:07:10] the front row and that's how we were killing time before the preview started. I feel like it was the three of us, Susanna, Jeremy Barnes, Matt and Amy Castleman. Brad and Roni I think was there at one point. Sounds about right.

[00:07:26] William Murray for sure was there at one point. I think that was it that came over from Florence. So the anticipation was pretty massive. It was a terrible movie theater in Florence, Alabama at the time and we refused to go there to see them. That's right.

[00:07:43] A lot of Float Town folks came over to Madison. True. But. Cinefiles. Thank you. We were very excited about this movie beyond just being a new Star Wars. We had invested in the carnival-like atmosphere of getting tickets and being one of the first people to see the movie.

[00:08:03] Right. I was posted today that reminded me that that spring one of the biggest hit movies was Meet Joe Black. The Brad Pitt movie that nobody cares about and the only reason that it made money is because he got hit by a car.

[00:08:21] It's because everyone knew that the trailer the trailer before that movie. So people would go buy tickets, see the trailer for Phantom Menace and then dip because you couldn't go online and download a trailer. You couldn't get video online. That's crazy. That is wild as shit.

[00:08:37] I actually saw that movie in the theater with my mom. Meet Joe Black? Yeah. There you go. He was deaf or something, right? Was that? I don't remember. I just remember him getting hit by that car at like 45 miles per hour in the middle

[00:08:49] of downtown New York or somewhere. Anyway. So yeah. Is that all for the facts? I'm sorry. That's all for the facts. No, yeah. Joe said in the scene like in 1999 we had not had New Star Wars outside of the original trilogy.

[00:09:06] Now in 1997 that spring they put out the three special edition new releases where they added all kinds of stuff and really changed around their original special edition, right? Which nowadays is just we have the version that we have now. Yeah. We've been tweaked since then again several times.

[00:09:28] McCluskey. I could think of a few things. Or whatever he says now. I could think of a few things that. When Greedo shoots it says, McClunky now. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. For no reason. There's a weird gibberish word. Side tangent. Do y'all watch movies and shows with subtitles?

[00:09:45] Yeah. No. Yeah. I used to think there was no reason for it whatsoever but like the older I get A, I just need to make sure I know what they're talking about. So I have them on but sometimes there's shit happening that you can't hear on the show.

[00:10:02] Yeah. Yeah. I've heard that that's a. It'll be like voices. A common complaint. Yeah. There's apparently discussion of like the motion smoothing equivalent to audio where like the TVs are going to have a setting that like emphasizes dialogue over the mix.

[00:10:24] It would be good but I mean they mixed it a certain way, right? True. You know? It's my movie now. Look, I just do it like my dad used to do. I turn it up louder.

[00:10:35] So like if you guys have anybody like walks by the house and I'm watching Star Wars or something you're going to hear it outside with the windows closed.

[00:10:45] And then the next morning when I get up and I go to turn it on and still sit at that level it blows me away. Yeah. I'd be doing that sometimes.

[00:10:55] I got a football game on like 60 or a movie and I wake up the next morning and Jamie's going to watch the fucking news and she's a what the hell is she yet? Yeah. Yeah. So we haven't had new Star Wars. We've had the same three movies.

[00:11:12] We've got new versions of those three movies. But that's the entire Star Wars. Now some people read comic books and books and all that. I never did. So to me Star Wars was three movies.

[00:11:22] The only thing that I did before then was like getting blanking on the names but there were like magazines that would have not entertainment weekly. There were some Starlog. Starlog, yeah those kinds.

[00:11:35] I would like grab as many of those as I could and read about what was coming. Oh sure. Yeah. No, no, no. There was nothing else. So everything we knew was in those three movies and now we're getting three more and

[00:11:50] we've been hearing for years that it's going to be the prequels. It's going to be the story of Anakin Skywalker. Anakin becoming Vader. So that's what we knew going in. I'm sorry I keep dereliling this but your producer today so stop me if I need to.

[00:12:04] I got laughed at so hard a few weeks ago by my wife because I was about three, four beverages in for the evening and I was like hey, question. Two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon. He has a problem. No, it was not.

[00:12:17] But I was a little date right and I was like was George Lucas the first person to ever be like retroactively like how did these people get to where they were and then write what is called a prequel because I don't remember hearing about prequels beforehand.

[00:12:32] She laughed me out of my goddamn apartment. She's like did George Lucas also invent metaphors? Shit like that. And I was like no, this is serious question. I was like were there people doing shit like that that I just don't remember? Because it wasn't called.

[00:12:48] Was it not called a fucking prequel because it was also like I feel like that term was coined around that's all I was asking. But I'm sure that there's been stuff that's come out where it's I mean even

[00:13:02] no, that temple of doom temple of doom takes place before comes out before it happens before. Raiders of the Lost Ark. OK, never mind. So stuff has come out of sequence before like that was still George Lucas. So that's true. See. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

[00:13:19] Checkmate George Lucas invented metaphors. I didn't mean to get sorry. I'll go back and dangling participles. I think we've pretty much you all have anything else to add about like the run up to or the anticipation of no or here comes.

[00:13:34] I have one thing to add to it. I was just married and had to see James would have been one and a half. I had a little baby at home. Yeah, yeah. He's cute. He got past that stage of like newborns that kind of a little weird looking.

[00:13:55] They look like but and I was so excited about sharing a new Star Wars saga with him. Like I was of course excited even before he was born about sharing the Star Wars that I grew up. Right.

[00:14:06] But like I knew a one year old wasn't going to see a Phantom Menace. He was going to be like me and see the third one in the theater for the first time. And I was so excited not just about seeing new Star Wars,

[00:14:20] but getting to experience new Star Wars with my son for the first time. I was very excited about that. What? I mean, I'm sure that he was watching it when he was four. So he probably doesn't have like a this is the first Star Wars movie he saw.

[00:14:36] I'll ask him because I wonder his name is coupon. Yeah, I wonder if coupon. A.K. A. James. I wonder how he shoestring because, you know, in my head, I have the order that I know that I was aware of a thing.

[00:14:51] So I wonder if he does to and what his is like. Yeah, because I mean, he grew up with me. Yeah. And all the DVDs and all the VHS and everything. So it's a different, definitely different experience. All right. Yeah. OK. So we're at opening day.

[00:15:07] We spent the night. We came back. It's midnight. We're in the theater. It's getting dark. Fucking. BING. Dun, dun, dun. I remember the crowd like flipping out. Cheers. When it popped out, we were like, it's really happening. It's really happening. New Star Wars. Holy crap. We did.

[00:15:24] And then the crawl comes and it's trade federation is having a blockade of trade. Now, make dispute is going on. And so what the bureaucracy is communication to do is try to reach some kind of peaceful negotiation through. And we're like negotiations.

[00:15:43] And we're like, oh, OK, OK, Star Wars. I mean trade disputes, but Star Wars. So it was a little bumpy. But then in rewatching it last night, the first like 20 minutes or so of this movie is like nonstop. It's really good. It really hits the ground.

[00:16:04] And I have to I have to I didn't fucking even read it. I was so excited watching and talking about the first viewing experience. I was so excited that very few of those words registered with me. I was just like, yellow crawl, Star Wars fanfare, new Star Wars.

[00:16:21] Holy shit. Are we talking about after we leave the theater yet? Are we going to wait and do that? Can you do that too? Yeah. I just remember thinking this was the best shit I've ever seen in my life. When you left the theater, when I left,

[00:16:31] me jumped at the end. Hold on. So we just he just made no rules. All right. It's just right out back. There was one of there's only three of us. Right. There's only one of us here in the trio that thought that it smelled like spoiled eggs.

[00:16:44] And that was Corey Martin. I remember looking at you leaving the theater and you were like. Yeah, because there was and I was like trying to will it into being everything that I'd hoped it would be. We all wanted this to be the best thing that's ever happened.

[00:17:03] Yeah, right. Which is unreasonable. Fantastic because I saw it again in the theater a couple of times. But I remember like by the time it was on video and we were like. There's some stuff that is maybe not the greatest, but it's a Star War.

[00:17:18] It's and there's great Star Wars in it. The first, like I said, the first 20 minutes, like you you've got them landing on the thing for the negotiations that go sour with the bice roys. So then they hop the thing and land on the boo.

[00:17:33] And then they go to the underwater city and then they come back up and then they go with the queen and all that like stuff just happens, happens, happens, happens. You meet everybody in the movie. You meet Palpatine before they leave the boo.

[00:17:47] You meet all this stuff and then they go to they run away and go to Tatooine. And that's where it kind of takes a breath. And that's like 30 minutes before you get to Tatooine.

[00:17:56] And then then that's where it kind of starts to fall apart for me in a rewatch. I was like, OK, now we're on Tatooine. Now we meet a boy that we're not going to give him. Any good lines? We're going to this here comes the Yippee.

[00:18:13] I'm a person. My name is Anakin. Yeah. We're not not going to be Jake's performance. No, no, no, it's just not good. No, most of my qualms are about the writing and the directing. Right? Yeah. Yeah. They didn't. Darth Vader should not have been the kid from.

[00:18:34] Toy Story, I mean, from Christmas story. Like he shouldn't have been an adorable little kid to me. Like he should have had a little dark side. He should have been kind of a bad kid or whatever. But instead we get like the cutest little like me.

[00:18:45] Yeah, he was pretty cute. He kind of gets the the fuck you. I won't do what you tell me thing, because like quite gone three different times is like staying that cockpit don't move. That's true. And then three minutes later, this motherfucker is in a yellow starship

[00:18:58] taking down the he's kind of a Dennis the men from the inside. There you go. Mentus Dennis, the Mentus. Yeah, there it is. He's a mischievous little imp of a child. I feel like I keep taking this and you're not. This is what we're supposed to be doing.

[00:19:14] You're normally the producer. So it's a power struggle between the two of you that I'm witnessing. Quite a good guy. I can bring balance to the force producer Corey after I fired him twice. And now I'm promoted. All right, so where are we?

[00:19:30] Yes. So after we've like watching the movie. OK, yes. The middle of it, the tattooing scene, which includes about an hour and a half of pod racing. It feels like that goes on forever to me. It's very long without music for most of it.

[00:19:46] It's and it's like it's just three laps, but it's like that scene. Oh, I like it. It's too it needs an edit. It's like we saw the entire goddamn race in real time. Yeah, we did. There was no parts of it. Yeah.

[00:20:00] Also all of the like worst racist stuff, like. Oh yeah. I don't know if it popped out to me immediately then. I think I'm a different person now because now it's like, go, how did this not?

[00:20:13] How did someone not stop the viceroy's from talking in a terrible Asian? I never noticed that until this morning. And I was like, it sounds like it's like wow. I it sounds like the fuck because I knew their voice always got on my nerves, but it never read.

[00:20:27] And this morning I was like, it's like. Oh, yeah. And this is the inflections and the broken Japanese and it sounds like the little kid from Pulp Fixen with in the cartoon. What's it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. He may have a fall.

[00:20:41] Yeah, like you can't do that. You just did a vice. That was the viceroy talking about the trade dispute. Yeah. And then we go down to Tatooine and then now we're trying to figure out slavery and like he's a slave and that's weird.

[00:20:54] These people are definitely not worth more than that pod racer. One of them, maybe two of them get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Yeah. They're trading them like cars and and it's weird because it's like they do present it as bad.

[00:21:09] Like, oh, I wish there wasn't slavery and slavery is bad. What they don't present as bad is Qui-Gon being like, I bought you, not your mom. Right. I'm going to turn you into a child soldier now. So say goodbye to everything you know.

[00:21:25] You got about three minutes packed this shit up. And this is the best opportunity you'll ever have in your life, slave boy. Like, like he's turning him into a child and taking him like that's all like the that's worse because whatever

[00:21:37] whatever that slave life is, they had an apartment. He got to go home early. Right. He's a slave. He finished his chores. We'll save the house for later. But yeah, yeah, he's a slave. But he's I mean, he's not like in chains.

[00:21:52] He's not doing he's not breaking rocks all day. He like works in a shop and has time to have hobbies on the side and build robots and stuff. So like getting back to the way that the racial tropes were

[00:22:02] presented in that movie specifically on Tatooine and in and around the pod racing sequence. It's it's it's just as obvious as all the other ones. But to me, it's it's not as offensive. One of the race car drivers is like a pompous or pod racers.

[00:22:22] It's like a pompous British admiral with the downturn. Subalba. It's not. No, it's not Subalba. The guy like literally looks like a like a naval like admiral and like, you know, twisting his mustache downward. And, you know, yeah, it's silly with him. And Watto is that his name?

[00:22:43] His owner. Oh, yeah. Who was yeah, has the big nose and all he cares about his money. And he's like, your Jedi mind tricks don't work. That's the only money that shit went over my head for like 20 something years until you all pointed it out.

[00:22:58] Yeah. It's no bueno. Yes, no. It's no bueno. So so the Tatooine section of the like the pod race, though. So great. I don't like the pod race. It's fine. I don't know if that makes him the best starfighter in the galaxy or whatever.

[00:23:19] We're going to keep an eye on your career. So we're on Tatooine up until 78 minutes into the movie. I wrote this down. So from the first 28 minutes were on the boo 28 to 78. So 50 minutes on Tatooine. Act two is that him. Pod race pacing, win him.

[00:23:43] And so then we have like a few minutes where we go back to Naboo for a minute. We see them on the ship talking yada, yada. And then we go to Coruscant for about 15 minutes. And that's where all of the

[00:23:58] machinations in the Senate are happening and the vote of no confidence and all that kind of stuff, all the political stuff happens. And then from 97 minutes to the end, which is going to be like a half an hour, it's just the climax from there. Right.

[00:24:13] So here in the middle, it's like. I don't I mean, even all the stuff on Tatooine, it's not like he's building a world. It's Star Wars. We know it. I think it could have been shorter. Pod racers. The pod race could have been a lot shorter.

[00:24:27] Also, fucking Sibola goes through disconnects, part of his fucking pod. Like is the disconnects of gear or something from this pod racer? And it doesn't come into effect until the third lap. So right. Of course. Well, it's tension. Yeah, but goddamn.

[00:24:45] It's only because Anakin was pushing it so hard because he really wanted to win. But it's also that means it's 82 minutes into this movie before we meet. Jedi Council. True. We don't we don't meet them until we get to Coruscant up until then.

[00:25:02] You just see the two Jedi's Obi Wan and Qui-Gon the whole time. No Yoda, nothing before that. Until the end. Not till you see him in a swatch of that ship this morning. I seems until we get up there. That's we don't see anybody else.

[00:25:19] But then so then it's just in that one part. And then we go to the Naboo climax. Which this is something we're going to need to. I want to kind of track as we do all these different movies. OK, every climax to a Star Wars movie.

[00:25:32] I feel like there is a like a wave of the amount of. Battlefronts happening at the same time. And this one is one of the biggest ones. Let me see where I wrote this down here. Yeah, there's three things going on, right? There's four things going on.

[00:25:51] OK, what's the order? So there's the Gungans fighting the droid army right in the field. Amidala's fighting with her crew to get up to the throne room. So they're fighting through the palace. They use those goddamn. That's right. Yeah, they're using the ropes grappling. Grappling hooks and shit.

[00:26:08] Anakin is up in the starship out in space, right? Fighting dog fighting. And then he blows up their ship and then Qui-Gon and Obi Wan versus Mal, all four of those things are all happening at the same time.

[00:26:23] So that's like and then you go and look at like what happens at the end of a new hope just one. This is the one. Yeah, it's just trench run. Interesting. So are we going to keep track of those

[00:26:39] late and talk about them as we do each where they're they build? Yes, OK. Mm hmm. So that's the climax of this movie. So. Interesting. Yeah. What else? As far as like feelings that you've had, the big question for this section is what does this movie have

[00:26:59] that the other 10 Star Wars movies do not have? I would say, first of all, Darth Maul. False because he's in solo. Oh, good cause I almost said that now. I would I would say. Anticipation false because I just sound like a damn. You did sound a bit.

[00:27:20] You did sound like a whale down just then. That was yeah, my bad. Y'all pergola dick over there. Right. Anticipate none of the other movies had this level of anticipation. Is that because we didn't like this movie? Well, no, I don't like the rest of them.

[00:27:38] We're like, all right, here comes the star. Oh, they don't fuck this up. Maybe no, no, because by the time episode two came out, we probably soured a little bit on episode one. Yeah, but not that much.

[00:27:48] Like it took it took a lot of like episode two is the hardest one for me. It's going to be the one I complain about the most. Once the whole entire Internet kind of was around more

[00:27:57] because it was around then, but it was like baby stages of the Internet. Right? Like it wasn't full on your walk around before social media. You can have discussions. You can only have comment threads. Yeah. On articles. So until like means and shit started happening a little later.

[00:28:12] Yeah, is when the hate really happened. Probably right. But also that second movie is a tart. It's not good. There's 45 minutes of a great movie, but we'll save that for another episode. Yeah. So what else does this movie have? Above the others. It's got Qui-Gon. He's pretty cool.

[00:28:32] And he's I mean, quite gone. You tell me about characteristics or about characters or just whatever. It is anything like the feeling that you had watching this. Like I was super excited to like a naked droid. Did have a naked droid. His parts were showing. They were.

[00:28:48] He wanted skin. It was weird. I don't remember him coming with it. Is he in the episode too? I don't remember. Oh, yeah. It's been a hot minute since I've seen it. Yeah. There's that whole scene where he's like in the droid factory,

[00:28:59] getting his head knocked off and all that and traded with the battle droid. OK. Stupid. Yeah. And he says, die Jedi scum. Yeah. It's weird. I don't know what are your thoughts on what is what does this have that the others don't? I mean, it's got some characters.

[00:29:18] It's it's weird because this movie being it's it takes place 10 years before part two. So the next time we see Anakin instead of being nine, he's now 19. Right. In episode two. So this movie, this movie is like so separate, like we see the Senate,

[00:29:36] but we don't really understand how it works. We see the Jedi Council, but we don't totally get how it's working. Like they're being sent places and they have assignments and stuff, but you don't really know all the ins and outs yet.

[00:29:49] And like we don't have Dooku and Grievous and any of the people that are going to be bigger players in the next two movies. So it's like all of this stuff is missing. To me, the big miss of the whole prequel trilogy

[00:30:08] is that this movie should have been the 15 minute prologue to the real like and now we can start. Now you saw him as a kid. We don't need 15 minutes of pod racing. We need 15 minutes and tell the whole story of him getting off Tetris.

[00:30:26] And then let's start with 19 year old. But that's I'm young and talky. That's a what if. I mean, right? Like I'm not disagreeing with you. I just think that like I don't. But like this what this movie has that the other movies don't have are young Anakin, right?

[00:30:45] Like that's not a good or a bad thing. It's just what it has. Georgia being throughout the whole movie. This is the only movie that does that. That's true. I don't mind him. I mean, he's another racially problematic character, but. He's funny. I like him being around.

[00:31:07] I like him more now than I did in the years following. Like like after a couple of years of seeing, I really was like, but now I don't know. I mean, you said people are going to die. Right. Yeah. It's all fucking.

[00:31:22] Well, it's and it's and it's part of it, at least to me, part of it is how I feel every time are to be booboo beep. You can get the fuck out. I'm saying tomato tomato on this episode because tomato tomato. He's the producer of this episode.

[00:31:37] But like Jar Jar, the way he's used in the first one is so childish. And and you know, that was Lucas. Yeah, like stepping in poo. Right. Like there's there's a sequence where, you know, it's in the setup for the pod race sequence.

[00:31:55] If there's anything we've proven here on our podcast, it's that we don't like doodoo jokes. Right. And it makes no sense. Like they just set up some stakes for the pod race. The pod race is about to start, but there's like there's a fart joke.

[00:32:09] Yep. In the middle of it that has nothing to do with anything. Yeah. It has nothing. And I mean, it's like they had to go out of their way to make that fart joke. It's not even a joke. It's not there's no there's no setup to it.

[00:32:20] It's just just some my farts. The camel looking thing rips ass and and then that character Chuck, he says that was funny. That was funny. And then that's it. You don't need that part. You're right. Yeah, we can. That's extra. See, you're complaining about the pod racing.

[00:32:38] I think that part scene makes it too long. Do you think that is funny? I do think it's funny. It's pretty funny. Farting. All right. So this is a part one's over commercial break. Questions, right? Oh, that's part. No, I mean, that's part two.

[00:32:53] Part one of the three part of this show. God damn, my bad. It's complicated as fuck. Sorry, producer Corey, go. We're about to go into force lightning round. It would just be lightning round, but it's force lightning round before or after the break after the break.

[00:33:09] We're taking a break right now. Taking a break and break sponsor. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. If you're on Tatooine, get your hut down to Moss Espa pod race circuit. We've got Subulba, young Skywalker, pit droids, nonstop action. Will pesky Tuscan Raiders murder your favorite pod racer?

[00:33:35] Will the Jedi cheat you out of your favorite slave? You'll find out this and more on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Pod race. Welcome back. We are a Star War round two force lightning round. Phantom Mantis Edition. What is the best scene of this movie? Dual of the Fates.

[00:33:58] Dual of the Fates. It's going to be really short. Dual of the Fates. Do we need to play the rules that if we say the same thing, we have to think of another one. Is that take forever? Also, what is better than really great scenes in the movie?

[00:34:11] The dual of the Fates. I mean, all right. So what specifically is the best part of Dual of the Fates? All of it. As a whole. I mean, the actual moment when he ignites the second half of his saber.

[00:34:29] OK, I mean, that's I pooped right in my pants. I did this movie will always have that moment. That egg smell. Yes. That you were talking about. Corey, shit it. That was because I shit it and farted. Yeah. OK. All right. Oh, duty jokes, my bad.

[00:34:49] What's the best line of this movie? And they can't be yippee. Mm hmm. Yippee. I do have. I would say when Obi-Wan says to Qui-Gon, you were right about the negotiations. They were short. I was like, Obi-Wan's got a sense of humor. That's great.

[00:35:12] Now, this one is probably going to be the number one. I wrote it out. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you. Yeah, you could.

[00:35:28] Yeah, that's the best Star Wars line. That's pretty good. I still like yippee. Yeah. I mean, he does yippee a couple of times. He wees. He's a fucking Fran yippee son. Oh, let's talk about Kit Kitchenin. What's his name? Wait, are we still in the lightning round?

[00:35:45] Oh, lightning round. Yeah, lightning round. Sorry. Let me page through my notes loudly for everybody here. All right, what's the best side character of this movie? Not main character, so not a Jedi or a duly elected queen. Does Darth Maul count as a side character? Probably kind of.

[00:36:04] He's hardly in it. That's true. What was the name of the captain of the Queen's Guard? Can tell you. Namira. I like that guy. Karama, Carm. Mark. Samsonite. Samsonite. I like that character. Best villain. That's Maul. Darth Maul. Darth Maul. Jar Jar Binks.

[00:36:30] So in this movie, we get Darth Sidious as only a hologram. Right. And we also have several scenes of Senator Palpatine as he becomes elected chancellor towards the end. Right. And like they know, like they know that we know that he's him. Yeah.

[00:36:50] They weren't trying to hide that for months. No, but it's a weird thing that they like. They let you kind of like, well, maybe someone will never see this and they won't know that that's the same dude. Like they leave it that way.

[00:37:02] But like no one's going to ever, you know, like there could have just been a scene where he's sitting in his desk at the Senate and he's like making a little hologram and then he turns around and takes his cloak off

[00:37:12] and he's like, all right, anyway, back to the Senate. Like they could have thrown that in. I think they did that on the family guy. Probably. OK, best hero. We got Qui-Gon. We got Obi-Wan. We got Anakin. I'm going. We got Padme. I'm going with Obi-Wan.

[00:37:33] Obi-Wan does some growing in this one for sure. Because he's kind of a little dick in the beginning and then Qui-Gon's like. I think this is the Qui-Gon show to me. I'm like, this is. This is all about like if if it was any other Jedi,

[00:37:49] they leave him on the planet and they're like, oh, he's got too many midichlorians. Let's leave this one be. Like that's what the rest of the Jedi council was like, we're not training him. He's dangerous and crazy. So yeah, if it wasn't for Qui-Gon.

[00:38:04] The story ends here kind of thing. So I feel like he's the story ended for him. Best planet or city or location. So we only have we have three planets in this movie. Exactly. We go to Naboo, we go to Coruscant and we go to Tatooine. Coruscant.

[00:38:26] I think it was cool to see Coruscant. Coruscant looks cool. Yeah. I mean, we get to visit it a whole lot more later, but that's pretty cool. But this is our first time really, really, really seeing it. I mean, we got a little taste of it

[00:38:38] in the special edition release for Jedi in like the very end. Fireworks. We don't know what it is. I mean, because we've seen the others. We got to see the Jedi temple. But I will say on behalf of Naboo, really pretty planet

[00:38:54] and they have like their own thing with all the chrome and the shiny. That's true. They have an aesthetic. A Windows background. Yeah. Yeah. Very blue skies. Looks like Naboo. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you're going with Naboo? Yeah. I think I'll go Naboo. Cool.

[00:39:11] Because we'll probably go to Coruscant and it'll probably be the best thing of part two or something. What's the best ship? Best spaceship, best. So we've got the Naboo Starfighters. We've got the big Chrome cruiser that they're in most of the time.

[00:39:28] The transport for the Queen or whatever. Yeah. We see Maul's Sith interceptor thing. So I noticed something about that when I what little I got to rewatch of Phantom Menace. Mentus. Mentus is when his his Starfighter and Darth Maul's Kylo Ren's Starfighter are similar looking. Yeah. Right.

[00:39:54] They've got that long stretched front end and then the tie components on the back end. But his exhaust, the engine propulsion, whatever you want to call it is green like the Deathmare Magics. And now that's way ahead of any of that introduction.

[00:40:14] But I just I noticed that this morning and I'm like, was it are they always green or is like they're usually blue, but this one's green and right. It was probably just to differentiate it and you're introducing a new character.

[00:40:26] But that green is part of where he's from. I thought that was interesting. Interesting. I would my my favorite ship was the Queen's Transport because it looked like an SR-71 spy plane. And I love the way that that plane looks. We also have the big.

[00:40:49] It's like the Star Destroyer precursor from this movie, which is like the little globe with the doughnut around it. That the trade federation communication out of there. Yeah. Or command ship. Yeah. Yeah. Because it looked a little bit like like a little mini Death Star,

[00:41:05] right? Right. That round structure at the center. Right. That was pretty cool. What was your favorite ship? I don't know. I think I like the Naboo fighters, the yellow. They're pretty cool. And it's nice seeing them back in action. They look fast. Best chase.

[00:41:28] Let's see. You guys clearly. I guess it's pod racing. Is that the only chase? More or less. I mean, Maul chases Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon and Anakin for about three seconds on his speeder, but that you they don't know they're being chased until the last minute. Right.

[00:41:49] That big underwater thing kind of chases them when they're in the Gungan city at the beginning. The big fish eats the bigger fish. Who eats the smaller fish? Yeah. It's always a bigger fish. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like there's one of the Star Wars staples

[00:42:03] is having a scene where they're just moving super fast through things. And you're like, how are they not hitting things? 17 minute pod race. And that's the pod race for this movie. Yeah. Best fight. I think that's. Dual of the fates. Hands down. Amazing. Best shot. Best like cinematic.

[00:42:26] I'll admit that when I wrote this question, it was because I had watched A New Hope. And there's so many things in there. There's so many shots in there where you're like, Luke is just standing there looking at the suns. This is beautiful. Yeah.

[00:42:38] We don't really get that in this movie. We don't get because it's all I'll say this. That it's all fake and it's all fast and and every shot has something moving in it because they could. Right. Like if it if it was an establishing

[00:42:53] wide shot of the palace, there are birds flying through it. Like there's every shot has something moving in it. True. And it was a little a little much. But I don't know. Somebody told George Lucas to move the camera one time and he was like, yeah, OK.

[00:43:11] What's up? You know, like cinematic, especially as it relates to iconic, it would be Darth Maul igniting that second half of a saber. That's hard. That's an iconic scene. That's an iconic beat that did so much work in generating the anticipation and the trailer. Right.

[00:43:31] Like seeing that you have no idea what the hell that is. Yeah. Because we none of us had ever fathomed a double bladed lightsaber and all the years of playing with them and making them. Right. Right.

[00:43:41] The first time you see a saber, you know, he jumps off his speeder to attack Qui-Gon and you're like, why is that heel so fucking long? Never really paid much attention to it before. But today I was kind of being I was looking for things. Yeah.

[00:43:55] And I was like, why didn't we catch this shit? There's a lot of beautiful shots in that movie. But to me, that one is the most iconic for me. The second one would be the look on even McGregor's face when he is trapped inside the the energy doors.

[00:44:15] Yeah. And he's ready to engage with Darth Maul like and it's, you know, you're looking at him through that rippling red energy field. What's his height music in his head? What's he playing? The Duel of the Fates. Tintinana. I love those two shots. DMX song. Stop. Stop.

[00:44:38] Open up. Stop. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Stop. OK, maybe not. Maybe it's Duel of the Fates. It's probably Duel of the Fates. Lightning round best toy from this movie. So I have in here in front of us today some toys

[00:45:01] that are actually just drink holders from Taco Bell from 1999 that still have Dr. Pepper inside of them and a Jar Jar. And there's a Jar Jar. Is that a Black Sea Jar Jar? Yeah, he's a recent Jar Jar. OK, so you've had him for a minute.

[00:45:14] And what's funny is the Darth Maul has no legs. No. So it's on brand. It's funny, I did notice this the last time I happened to glance over. He's got his big ass hilt right there. Yeah, he does. On the bottom half of the cut. That's good.

[00:45:28] Yeah, so best toy from this movie. There were a lot of toys for me. It was there was the Queen's Transport. I bought that for James and it was a big massive toy, big Christmas gift, big play set. Heck yeah. And we still have it.

[00:45:42] It's in the garage somewhere. I had the yellow Naboo Starfighter. I think my brother got it for me for my birthday or Christmas one year. I think all I got was like a little Maul. I got like a one of those.

[00:45:56] I had the Maul that would like to have the little bicycle. The little right, the little Unicycle, his little power wheel. When he would ride around in circles and juggle. Yeah. I mean, how was he going to like stay sharp? Right. When he's killing time, he's got downtime

[00:46:14] waiting for the emperor to give him a mission. He's out there practicing for Cirque du Soleil. All right, best used of the force in this movie. Corey Hanna. Just the thing that caught my eye this morning was

[00:46:30] one of the very first scenes we see of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon when they're fighting. And we see Obi-Wan force push some of the droids. Yeah. And for whatever reason that caught my eye this morning,

[00:46:45] I was like, was that the first time we ever really saw a force push because they didn't use it really in episodes four, five and six. The Jedi's didn't. Vader was throwing shit all the time. But I mean, not like this, like.

[00:46:57] But he wasn't in the original trilogy. He wasn't throwing stuff. I mean, he disconnected hoses and shit sometimes to hit Luke with. Right. But like this just going through refrigerators out of the stuff. Like using the force itself to generate the force push. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:47:14] That's what it was called. Big on choking. Yeah. Lots of choking. Sure. Vader was good at choking. Loves choking people. Side note, Jim and I drank heavily at Dragon Con one year with. I don't drink. The guy that originally got force choked by Vader in the original trilogy.

[00:47:32] The sad forgotten religion guy? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. We were having drinks with some friends that we met that year at the bar and they're like, hey, Tom Savini's coming. So we got to hang out with Tom Savini and then that's a different guy. Tom Savini wasn't that guy.

[00:47:48] I'm sure you guys know that. But up walks of dude, I forgot what his real name is Richard, something I feel like. Not Link Ladder. He was very drinky at the time and we were at that point in the evening very drinky.

[00:48:01] It was the best part about Dragon Con was sitting at the bar at the Hyatt and just watching people. It was the best perch to sit there and watch folks down below outside and in the main lobby. That's my favorite part about Dragon Con.

[00:48:16] That was probably my first exposure to cosplay and stuff because there was a guy in full on Darth Maul gear. Skin paint, walking around shirtless dressed up like Darth Maul badass. It was me. Yeah, it was Jim. It was not me. Next question.

[00:48:36] We could still do it though. We could pull it off. Right. Like if Darth Maul got old and fat. If we get a million likes, we'll dress like Darth Maul. We'll do it. Pain our bellies. I'll do that. One million likes. One million likes.

[00:48:50] The R.S.R. War. But wait, what was the prompt again? Best use of the force in this movie. So I'm not going to say it's the best but it's the first time that we saw them force hold their breath. All right.

[00:49:06] When they go to poison, release the dioxins inside the gas. Yeah. They're holding them in the air and it's the first time we see them force run fast as fuck. Is it the last time we see them force run fast as fuck? It's possible.

[00:49:22] In the movies I think so. Because they never use that little power again. That seems useful. Yeah. Like very specifically you see them like as a blur running down the hall away from the two destroyer droids. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:49:36] The force pushes much cooler but those were the two that I noticed as being new force powers. Qui-Gon uses it to cheat when he throws the dice and he's like red is the boy blue is the mother and he's like oh.

[00:49:53] So about that was it because he figured the dice were loaded so he was undoing the cheat or did he really step on chance? I mean it would totally ruin his whole plan if he had to go home with Chmi.

[00:50:10] Sure but no I'm saying like did he know that was he making the ship? Or like why Chmi what can you do? I get I mean the end result is still the same. He made it so that it was blue but was he undoing a cheat?

[00:50:26] Was he cheating or was he cheating? There's no indication really. I mean you kind of assume everything Watto does is cheating a little bit but there was really no indication that was the.

[00:50:37] I would like to point out that I think Watto and Quato from Total Recall are probably cousins but that's a whole other podcast. Give the people the air. Right. That. Yeah nice. See you at the party Ricta.

[00:50:53] All right quick round from rate from one to eleven how are the special effects? Eleven because they're eleven movies correct? Yeah that's why because it's one to eleven. One to eleven. And some of these do go to eleven. Special effects are not horrible in this one.

[00:51:08] They're not great. I mean there's a lot of them. Yeah over usage probably but. Way over usage but I love that this was shot on film it looks so good. Yeah I mean it holds up well visually I think.

[00:51:23] And the way that they composited not every shot looks flawless but it's consistent throughout I mean it's a great looking movie. It's a great looking movie but I love there are some you know I can't think of

[00:51:37] like specific shots but there's so many beats in that opening sequence that opening twenty eight minutes that are just incredible and they were all of the shots that were shot on film on a predominantly real location that looked

[00:51:52] incredible and I'm so glad that the sequel trilogy went back to shooting film and shooting as much as they could on practical locations. Yeah because it's gonna get less and less from here. It gets less and less yeah so I appreciate that about Phantom Menace

[00:52:07] and I think that it looks good because that's I also love and I know you guys hate the pod racing but I only know this from reading articles and magazines and stuff but they used in the crowd scenes like little painted matchsticks and Q-ticks. Go outside nerd. Right.

[00:52:26] With your worst list chime ins. All right I do like to know that someone built a miniature that makes me so happy when I can see something I'm like that's a tiny thing that exists somewhere in someone's garage right now. Someone made it. Yes that is cool.

[00:52:43] How is the plot of this movie like where do we go from A to B in the saga big time that was my chief complaint is like I mean we need Anakin. That's all we do is we meet him.

[00:52:55] Here he is the notes I sent you guys this morning as I started the first one was God damn trade routes. I didn't make notes. I didn't get any notes. It's not a note it's just a text I sent you guys it said God damn trade routes

[00:53:06] and then I should keep count of these words Federation invasion communication and then you said embargo boy got bureaucracy. This is where the bureaucrats take over they have the real power. I mean plot wise there's a lot of God damn exposition in this movie.

[00:53:25] But isn't that like kind of grounded right like you've got a galaxy of planets. You know I mean there's going to be so much red tape and I mean I mean yes I'm not saying it makes for a good plot no no it's not

[00:53:39] saying it makes for a good plot but it's you know when you heard they were making this movie where you're like I can't wait to see we learn about the bureaucracy of the Empire or the no but you know

[00:53:52] done differently you get and or we are very happy to hear it now. It's true. All right what else how is the acting horrible. Absolutely I didn't answer that last one. I don't mind the plot on this one but then again I think it's

[00:54:09] because I don't mind pod racing so my vote doesn't count. Sorry call this episode I don't mind pod racing. Brought to you by Duel of the Fates. No no no no. Yeah I was I was really paying attention to Natalie Portman in rewatching it.

[00:54:32] Terrible but it's like very clearly on purpose terrible like she's wooden and awful and I'm just like she's that's like whether she's being told to but that's like like every time she's the queen. This is I cannot stand for this to happen to my people.

[00:54:50] The queen I kind of get because she has to be like stone faced with some of her other and it's all I blame it on Lucas because she's been great in other movies. It's tremendous yeah she's incredible. Yeah you know and you can't like there's a kid there's

[00:55:04] a place there are plenty of I don't want to beat that horse too much because there's we're not going to get anything else out of it but yeah I think the queen it was a character choice. But I do think that there's better moments could have been

[00:55:19] better moments. All right final question for this put one F bomb in the movie. We've done it before but I don't remember where it went that's why it's fun we can do it again. Okay I got mine. Like what if it's PG if it's PG 13 in America you're

[00:55:36] allowed to put one fuck in a movie. As long as it's not in reference to the sex act. Right just as an expression. So Samuel L Jackson is in this film. Nah but that's the easy way out I say when Watto loses

[00:55:56] the dice roll to Qui-Gon he's like fuck. All right I got mine. I'm a fucking person my name is Anakin. Okay what's yours Corey Martin. I have to think about that one now because I feel like I

[00:56:11] like him as a little boy better if he says little potty mouth yeah yeah oh I might second that emotion. I'll try spinning that's a good fucking move. You the fucking thing people is going to die. See I think if Jarger when he steps in shit he

[00:56:33] just goes fuck right or when Subalba beats his ass he goes what the fuck yeah yeah I think it belongs to Jarger I think the F bomb belongs to Jarger. All right that's the third we're going to get fucked up.

[00:56:51] That's the second part we're taking a break this is where sponsors will pay us so stick around for the commercial we're coming back. Hey do you love jizz do you spend your afternoons in a cantina drinking blue milk and listening to jizz do you like Max Rebo

[00:57:10] the galactic jizz whalers catch a speeder to Tatooine and take your lady to Jabba's palace let some of our fresh hot jizz wash over you. Jizz. We back. Whoa welcome back. Howdy. Welcome back to the third part of our special episode about phantom mantis episode one

[00:57:33] of Star Wars. Star Wars. The rest of the show today we're just kind of free ball we've got a couple of little things you know we when we see films as cinephiles that we have been our lives our whole life so far we occasionally on the way home.

[00:57:48] There was that one Tuesday where we were like not today no we just don't like movies today. But most of the time we have what we call how the hell's which is plot holes basically right and then we have now if you think

[00:58:02] about it's which is a little bit deeper when you're like hey you know I've been thinking about this movie for five days and I have a problem all of a sudden like stuff that occurs to you later so we'll cover all of those first of all

[00:58:14] I would open it up by saying who or what is the phantom mantis. What does the title mean? I always thought it was in reference to Palpatine. Yeah I think it's a menace and he's like it's like he's a phantom because nobody realizes he's there.

[00:58:30] Because there's like that one line with Obi-Wan in the beginning where he's like man something will smell right and Qui-Gon's like you know you need to stay. Qui-Gon's like you need to stay in the moment and Obi-Wan is like but you know Yoda said I should you know

[00:58:46] touch the force and like see what's out there and I'm figuring it. Wiggle around in it. And Qui-Gon was like yeah but not at the expense of the moment. Not at the dinner table. Not at the dinner table right? Like Jar Jar.

[00:59:00] I didn't think this was the sex episode. Right no that's for a different episode. Yeah that. Yeah I agree. I also it struck me watching it since we're talking about him being there and no one knowing that he's right there in their face. That he's the mantis.

[00:59:16] He is the mantis and he's just right there the whole time like a lot of this movie he seems to be wanting to make a point about how easy it is to lie. Like they can just lay on a plan and

[00:59:27] be like I'm not a Jedi what are you talking about or they can invade a planet and go to the Senate and be like we didn't invade us planet you need to send a committee to. And you know why they can get away with that there's no news.

[00:59:39] Because there's no news in Star Wars. There's no press. There are no journalists there's no press. There's no photographs. Right. It's weird. No pictures. Can you imagine how traumatic it would have been if they had continued with the Jar Jar as the undercover Sith. Right.

[00:59:56] Like to little kids to go from stepping and shit and being poodoo to like. To younglings. Being order 66ing the younglings. Yeah. That'd be pretty cool actually. Yeah. All right what else do we have any how the hell is about this show about this particular movie.

[01:00:17] Any issues with the plenty of issues. I have one thing. There's a big trope that I really don't like when I see it used and is using this movie which is like we're fighting an army but if we do this one thing

[01:00:32] they'll all just drop with this one neat trick. I hate that it happened this it happened in Game of Thrones where they were like I've killed a night guy then all the whole army falls apart and it's like that's so cheap I hate that. Happened in Lost Boys.

[01:00:47] Killed the vampire that's in charge all the other ones. Dies. Died. It just seems like a cop out to be like oh we just have to blow up one thing in space and the whole army will just go to sleep. Like they need constant instruction Wi-Fi

[01:01:04] wise to like shoot. Apparently. Seems weird to me it seems like they those droids like those only those droids though the rest of the droids in the stupid universe they just make a sound and make sassy jokes and they're not controlling them. Yeah that's what I'm saying.

[01:01:21] They were only programmed to control the war droids battle droids. Well that seems like a bad idea for an army. Clearly. Clearly. To be like I built this amazing army lesson learned. One giant weakness. So then we build clones. Yeah. On the other side.

[01:01:37] Which I guess they're already being built right now aren't they? They're already being built that's right that's all part of the fanta mentis. Yeah. I think Batman. Alright what else how the hell's any issues? Not an issue but when Qui-Gon is going into town

[01:01:57] I guess it's Qui-Gon and Jar Jar. Padme ends up you know tagging along and the captain's like the queen wants you to take her and Maiden and Qui-Gon's like I'm done taking orders from the queen. Yeah. Right? And the captain is like she's really interested in the culture

[01:02:16] would you please take her. That seemed really weird she's standing right there. Another thing after they get in the battle where they're escaping and all the other droids get blown up and R2-D2 saves the day. And then R2-D2 comes in and meets

[01:02:34] the queen but it's the fake queen because Padme's standing right here. Right. And then the fake queen says we should reward this droid. And then they clean the droid and so the fake queen makes the real queen go and scrub down R2-D2. Correct.

[01:02:50] And that's some baller shit. And real queen is like well I gotta play the role so I'm gonna go and scrub this. But I think that's all Padme's idea. I mean the handmaiden thing the body double is her thing.

[01:03:04] Yeah but did she know that she was going to be giving chores? She's the queen. It's probably better than being dressed up like a peacock. I feel like later they were in the locker room later and they were like dude really you made me clean a droid.

[01:03:16] Come on. Fuck you Padme. Fucking Naboo. The whole planet voted me to be the queen and you're making me clean a droid. I'm the queen and you're the sorry people. Yeah. She could use that exact line. King Curtis. Son of a bitch. Why did Qui-Gon die

[01:03:35] from one stab that we have seen now everyone you can get cut in half you can be thrown into a Sarlacc pit you can be stabbed you can be chopped you can be cut you can do anything you want and we'll find a way to bring you back.

[01:03:49] I said this on another recording it may have been one of the lost episodes I don't remember but this is science and there are different beliefs I'm sure there was a doctor on Tiktok that broke all this down about where the stabbings took place

[01:04:05] and how they would have survived and Qui-Gon... Moll's was a fatal blow Yeah but it cauterized him and then Qui-Gon... Moll's stabbing Qui-Gon So where he hit was like major arteries and shit and then like where who was the other one that was brought back? Sabine. Sabine.

[01:04:25] Hers was off to the side in a different place You don't need your guts or your kidney Kylo gets stabbed too Oh yeah but he gets... His could have been fatal She saves his life though That's some J.J. Abrams Moll's shit

[01:04:43] Yeah while Qui-Gon's force goes to stand it right there going what the fuck you can just rub it and it gets better You can rub it and blow on it That is technically a hell of a hill But that's all let's save that for the other movie

[01:04:55] So for this one though like Qui-Gon so what about like you know we had to see if somebody had to die Also Obi-Wan died in a new hope His funeral is gross His funeral is real gross They're like four feet away from a burning dead body on fire

[01:05:19] Making a six year old watch Hey look what you just signed up for Look at the army you just joined This guy that you trusted and you followed is fucking dead dude it's only been like two weeks Now let's shave your head and give you a ponytail

[01:05:35] Cause all the fucking Jedi funerals are different in the cartoons And like it ended with the weirdest callback to the end of a new hope with like all of them just standing on some stairs posing for not the press The people

[01:05:55] There was nobody there it was just them They were just trying to make a good story for people to pass along at campfires Which is the only way that stories are told Oh boy They got like a glowing power orb right Like didn't Boss Nas like give

[01:06:17] Queen Amidala like one of those little plasma bulbs that she could get from Radio Shack Put your hand on this it's cool Yeah I had one of those It's cool Is that it? I don't know what else y'all got The movie that I watched last night

[01:06:35] featured a Yoda that was fully CGI But when we saw that in the theater in 1999 that was a puppet that was an ugly Yoda puppet Are you sure? CG? Yeah They changed it he's not a puppet in that movie anymore He positive? Yeah Really? Yeah

[01:06:53] Can you research that? I'm not gonna do it right now I have researched it that's why I'm speaking with such authority Are you for real though? Yeah do you not remember when we first saw it they were like oh here's the Yoda puppet and it looked

[01:07:05] it looks like Yodel or whatever her name is It looks like that and you're like oh that's more of a Muppet than the Yoda I remember And they eventually replaced it with a CGI Wow So now Yoda looks the same in all three of those movies Oh okay

[01:07:23] Because he used to be a puppet in the first one But it was only in the movie for like five minutes also. He's got like three scenes Word Yeah that's the little thing That's the thing I saw and wrote down What else you like

[01:07:39] about this movie or don't like about this movie? I mean we could go for days about it but I think we've covered most of it Dialogue is pretty terrible 50 minutes of one section of your movie is in one location essentially So we did say that we would save

[01:08:01] slave child hobbies for how the hell Oh yeah. So he's a slave but he's building a very like I would assume complicated protocol And he's also got a secret pod racer to help him out with his chores That his boss doesn't even know about the pod racer

[01:08:19] Is he just stealing this shit from everybody? He must be I guess Or a slave makes a lot of money on that as a like shopkeeper or whatever he is Right. That's how the hell He's got a lot of resources He does have a lot of resources

[01:08:39] Yeah, you're right Maybe he's Because he's building the pod racer in secret Yeah because there's a point where he says you crashed my last pod racer and then Qui-Gon has to pretend like oh I've secured a pod because he's like I built one but Wato doesn't know

[01:09:01] Because it would be Wato's Wato's pod racer if he knew that he built it Exactly. Interesting Hmm Cleaning the droid Why is the the politics of Naboo and why they elect a queen Also And it's not for life because she's not the queen

[01:09:27] at the end of the trilogy How big is Naboo? And how are they hiding a whole civilization under the lake over there Yeah Because like when they take the little underwater submarine through the planet core It's like five minutes Yeah

[01:09:45] I mean yeah they're getting chased by a dragon and Jar Jar's screaming the whole time and the big fish eats the bigger fish or flip that It's like a five minute cruise through the planet core Yeah You were watching today and you were like oh

[01:10:03] I know where all my people are hiding it's a place that's very sacred to me I'll take you there right now You wanna come see it? Come on everybody I know I've only known you for like a week or two I can

[01:10:18] But then I noticed it was just like a place in the woods We just like it over here It's not like a secret base or something I ain't even a fucking secret Yeah That's all I got I think that's been a good app That's good for Phantom Menace

[01:10:40] We've been going for like an hour and 15 minutes That's good for Phantom Menace Things to say about Attack the Clones I'm gonna have to watch that again It'll be like the fourth time I've ever watched it I'm not gonna watch it

[01:10:52] I'm not gonna watch the whole thing I'll tell you that Well I'm going to I might actually because I haven't watched the whole Attack of the Clones I think you're bound by the laws of our podcast Oh is it in the bylaws? In the bylaws

[01:11:04] That we're gonna store in an old timey safe in the clubhouse We're gonna build a clubhouse in Jim's backyard Most Torres And also we are a Star War You can find us on social media We are a Star War on Instagram and threads Please review us on Apple

[01:11:22] podcasts and Spotify podcasts And I've completely forgot to mention our network of podcasts On the last two episodes that we recorded I'm very sorry Follow the Alabama take on all social medias and go to thealabamatec.com And I forgot I'm a bad producer

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[01:11:58] Friends and fellow podcasters And we still have shirts there Just search for the Alabama take store And find us inside of that store On teapublic And I'm gonna go off as Jim Star War They got stuck in second gear Hahaha It hasn't been that my

[01:12:27] Can't find it grind it From my thought In that gear Star War